By Michael Hurley, CBS Boston
BOSTON (CBS) — In so many ways, Twitter has become a regular part of our Sundays, becoming essentially the world’s biggest bar room where we can all share our idiotic football opinions without thinking twice about it.
Now, we can officially recognize this phenomenon with some fancy new hashtags.
The NFL and Twitter rolled out team-specific hashtags on Tuesday, hashtags which bring up the team logo whenever typed.
Hey, how about that? Pretty neat.
For most teams, the hashtag is a slogan or a message of some kind. There’s #GoBills, obviously, and #GoPackGo, #FinsUp, #GiantsPride, and so on and so forth. Some are more creative than others, like the Seahawks’ #WeAre12 (because that franchise is obsessed with the concept of fans attending games and cheering loudly) or the Buccaneers’ #SiegeTheDay.
Others are utterly boring. You’ll be surprised by this, but the Patriots fall into that group.
Their hashtag is … #Patriots.
It’s almost as if the social media team asked Bill Belichick what the hashtag could be, and he just stared at them all in silence until they left his office.
The Patriots aren’t alone in the boring realm, though, as several other teams just went with the generic team name in the hashtag.
With that in mind, and because we’re so desperate for real football to start and consume our lives, here is a thorough, non-negotiable power rankings of the new hashtag. Please understand that this list cannot be disputed and is gospel. Thank you.
32. Seahawks: #WeAre12
Get over yourselves, nerds.
31. Bears: #FeedDaBears
If you want to reference the Ditka skit, you just go #DaBears. But #FeedDaBears? That is objectively stupid.
30. Colts: #ForTheShoe
Uhh. Cool? Neato. Nice hashtag.
29. Rams: #MobSquad
I had to Google the meaning behind this one. Rule No. 1 is that if you have to Google it, it’s not great. And it turns out to be a nickname for the defensive line that started last year and “went viral.” Guys, that’s not going to cut it. So many possibilities with Los Angeles, and yet … Mob Squad.
T-28. Jets: #JetUp
There are things I don’t understand about the New York Jets. Namely, I don’t understand the pride the Jets find in the Jets. They’re the Jets! The old “Play Like A Jet!” thing always confused me. Are you sure you want to play that way? And “Jet Up” certainly does nothing to inspire confidence. This hashtag is definitely the candidate to be the hashtag used sarcastically most often.
T-28. Titans: #TitanUp
This makes less sense than “Jet Up.” What does it mean to “Titan Up”? How can one go about Titaning oneself? Are there costumes involved? Role playing? What are we doing here? Titan Up. Get out of my face with that.
26. Steelers: #HereWeGo
Now here’s a team with actual tradition, with a lot of Super Bowls and a passionate fan base. And we’ve got … “Here We Go”? I know it’s a fight song of sorts, but it was written in 1994. This was a time where garbage music could flourish. The Steelers could have done something about having the most Lombardi Trophies, or striving for title No. 7, or something. Instead, it’s “Here We Go.” Missed opportunity.
25. Lions: #OnePride
I can see the tweets already: “Stafford’s pass over the middle intended for Tate is intercepted, returned back to the Lions’ 6-yard line. #OnePride”
24. Ravens: #RavensFlock
Edgar Allen Poe was a great American poet. There was so much potential for this one. Instead it’s just the Ravens’ marketing slogan. Boooooo! And it’s not even accurate. I looked it up — Ravens don’t often travel in flocks, as “relationships between common ravens are often quarrelsome.” It’s quarrelsome, by golly!
23. Cardinals: #BeRedSeeRed
I don’t know. Feels like the Cardinals and their fans could aspire to be something cooler than red. What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be red. Not that cool.
22-17. Broncos, Chargers, Chiefs, Cowboys, Jaguars, Patriots
These teams couldn’t be bothered to apply even five seconds of creative thinking when it came time to come up with a measly little hashtag. Instead we’ve got, #Broncos, #Chargers, #Chiefs, #DallasCowboys, #Jaguars and #Patriots. You’ve got to love the Cowboys going above and beyond with the city in there too. It’s like they all agreed to go city/team and then switched it up at the last minute without telling Jerry Jones.
Because these teams couldn’t be bothered, allow me to come up with a few off the top of my head:
T-16. 49ers: #Go49ers
T-16. Bills: #GoBills
It’s slightly better than just the team name, I suppose. But not by much. I believe the brainstorm meeting went like this: “Well, we want the team to go. We’d really like it if the team went. So how about ‘Go 49ers’? Any objections? Cool. Let’s get lunch.”
14. Raiders: #RaiderNation
Just a skosh better than the “Go Team.” I suppose this was a safe choice, considering they’ll only be in Oakland for a few more months. #RaiderNation leaves their future options open.
13. Packers: #GoPackGo
Again, incrementally better than just #GoPackers, but not entirely creative. At the same time, it’s perfectly fine.
12. Giants: #GiantsPride
It’s better than like, #GiantUp, I guess, so that’s cool. The Giants have all sorts of tradition, so this one makes sense, even if it’s boring.
11. Dolphins: #FinsUp
Call me crazy, but this one makes more sense than #TitanUp or #JetUp. It’s like, hey, raise your fins, or hey, there’s a fin sticking up out of the water. Basically, if there were an accreditation process for getting an “Up” hashtag, the Dolphins would pass.
10. Texans: #WeAreTexans
This is just a straight-up literal hashtag. We Are Texans. Can’t argue that. You sure are Texans.
9. Saints: #Saints50
Fifty years is always a big anniversary in football, so you can’t take anything away from the Saints here. Plus, it’s got a double meaning, because Drew Brees and Co. try to score 50 points every game. And hey, the defense likes to give up 50 points from time to time as well.
8. Browns: #DawgPound
I’d poke fun, but the Dawg Pound is often all that Browns fans have to hang their hats on come November and December. It’s a misery loves company type of situation. These tweets will be the saddest come Week 15.
7. Redskins: #HTTR
One thing about Redskins fans is that they sure do love that Hail To The Redskins song. This hashtag lands high on the list because people actually use it anyway. Might as well add a logo to it.
6. Buccaneers: #SiegeTheDay
You know, they’re a team that’s been a bit down in the dumps for a while, and they need something to get back on the rise. It’s not a bad one. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but at least they’re trying.
5. Eagles: #FlyEaglesFly
I go back and forth on the whole fight song thing. On the one hand, singing a fight song is dorky as all heck. On the other, singing a fight song is at least something to do. It’s better than blasting Bon Jovi after touchdowns, you know?
4. Falcons: #RiseUp
This might be a stupid slogan … if Samuel L. Jackson weren’t involved. But he is. So I’m in. Catchy tune right there.
3. Panthers: #KeepPounding
The Panthers’ little slogan actually matches their on-field mentality. For years now they have been a brutal opponent. Even if they don’t beat you on the scoreboard, they’re going to beat you up a little bit. Keep pounding. I get it. It’s not a forced animal reference. Not bad.
2. Bengals: #WhoDey
A high ranking, because “I’m ’bout to get some chicken wings and watch the Bengals play” is the greatest line in rap history. OK? Though I do think passing on #BurfictsOutForHarambe is a missed opportunity.
1. Vikings: #Skol
On the one hand, it’s totally obscure to non-Vikings fans (or non-Norse speakers). But it comes from an old battle cry, and it’s Viking-related, and hey, give them credit for not being afraid to think outside the box.