Toucher & Rich: What Would Jonny Gomes Do?
Boston Red Sox
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BOSTON (CBS) – Jonny Gomes is a lightning rod for Red Sox fans. Love him or hate him, he says and does some pretty peculiar things.
When Toucher and Rich interviewed Gomes during spring training, he talked about all of his near-death experiences. Suffice it to say: his life story is pretty crazy.
He’s survived a heart attack, a wolf attack, falling off a cliff and has had guns pulled on him multiple times. Did I mention when he was 15-years-old he caught on fire?
Jonny Gomes is a pretty badass dude, but don’t you dare try and disrespect him in a public setting. T&R played a little game on Wednesday, where Rich lays out a made-up scenario and it’s up to Fred and Wallach to decide how it would end.
Here are the scenarios:
Scenario 1: Hacksaw Jonny Gomes needs to buy some beef jerky. When he pulled into the grocery store parking lot, a gentleman cuts in front of him and takes his spot. Does Jonny Gomes…
A.) Say “Oh well” and find another spot
B.) Kindly tell the driver who cut in front of him that the spot was indeed his
C.) Run over that SOB’s Miata with Hacksaw’s Devil Digger monster truck and then launch 18 American flag fireworks into his bloody mouth, causing a red, white and blue explosion in his head
Scenario 2: Jonny Gomes is painting a gigantic bald eagle on the side of his house. His neighbor doesn’t approve of Jonny Gomes using his giant spotlights to continue his painting at wee hours in the morning. When approached by his neighbor, does Jonny Gomes…
A.) Say, “Sorry. I’ll finish tomorrow afternoon.”
B.) Lower the lights as to not blind his next door neighbor
C.) Yell “FREEDOM!’ at the top of his lungs, rip out his neighbor’s tongue and feed it to his pack of wolves
Scenario 3: Hacksaw Jonny Gomes wants to go to the movies to see his favorite film Cobra. When he gets to the theater, he sees the only thing that’s playing is a bunch of girly crap like Godzilla and X-Men. Does Jonny Gomes…
A.) Leave the movie theater
B.) Complain to the manager
C.) Cry alone in the dark theater realizing his persona is a farce and that his tough guy catch phrases can’t hide the pain of not being very good at baseball
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