Linsanity? This Story Is Linsane!
BOSTON (CBS) – Here’s a thought: An Asian-American basketball player from California, essentially not recruited, stars at Harvard but goes undrafted, plays for four NBA D-League teams, gets cut by two NBA squads and nearly a third before becoming one of sports’ biggest linternational … uh, international sensations virtually overnight.
When someone writes the movie, it may as well be called Linception.
Of course, if you’re reading this, you know all about Knicks guard Jeremy Lin, unless you’re lincarcerated somewhere with other linmates. Even that seems lindescribable, linconceivable or linexplicable. Maybe you’re just lindifferent.
Either way, think about it, the dude’s got half-a-million Twitter followers, a linsurmountable feat for your average basketball-dribbling Harvard grad, and the media’s been all lin-your-face about him since he dropped 25 points off the bench on New Jersey’s Deron Williams earlier this month. Since then, it’s been a linvasion of what has appropriately been trademarked “Linsanity.” Anything else would just be linaccurate.
Let’s go over some linformation the media and Hollywood-types have been so kind to make a linvestment in, for our viewing pleasure.
First, Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock lindulged us by suggesting some lucky lady in NYC was going to get to know his linstrument after a good game.
Soon after, when the Knicks’ seven-game winning streak came to an end, ESPN linserted an ethnic slur under a picture of Lin on its mobile site suggesting … hmm, let’s call it damage in the team’s armor. That lincident was deemed linsulting, linsensitive and politically lincorrect, and no doubt ignited a linflux of lincessant complaints directed at the worldwide leader. The matter was dealt with swiftly after a linquisition, and that web editor was dismissed. No, he was not a lintern who failed to follow linstructions.
Just a few days ago, I’m told the New York Post had a picture of Lin featuring a woman in the stands holding a sign that lincluded the word “linside,” so I’ll just leave that linnuendo alone. Neil Patrick Harris on “How I Met Your Mother” would on the other hand call it “LIN … wait for it … GENIOUS!”
Most recently, “Saturday Night Live” had the linnovative idea to bring in a little reverse race humor with the African-American characters telling Asian jokes, while the white guy couldn’t tell a black joke without getting in trouble. It was a nice twist. Hats off to “SNL” for one lincredibly funny line about Madison Square Garden, when Bill Hader’s character said he hopes Carmelo Anthony “likes Chinese in his MSG.” C’mon, that took some lintuition, even if Lin’s Taiwanese.
Here’s the only thing I’m waiting for – a Cypress Hill remake of “Linsane in the Brain” by the Harvard University a capella group, the Kronkodiloes. That’s linventive, if I do say so myself. I may just be linferring something here, but I bet they’ve got all the lintangibles for those beats! To not record it would be, you guessed it, a linjustice.
Anyhow, now that we’ve gone lin-depth on the media, on to the background for those not previously lintrigued:
Lin signed as a free agent back in July of 2010 with Golden State after a four-year run with the Crimson, where he was quite the lintellectual and averaged about 13 points and four assists per game for his career. Hardly numbers that would command a high NBA lincome.
As a rookie with the Warriors last year, Lin appeared in 29 games and averaged roughly three points in about 10 minutes. Linsane to think about now. His linabilities were thought to be staggering.
Fast-forward to this year, after some time honing his skills in the D-League with now seemingly linferior talent, working on every lintricate detail to the most linsatiable degree, perhaps his time had come for a return to the NBA. Only it hadn’t.
In early December, Lin was waived by Golden State. Three days later, he signed with Houston, where he was quickly sent packing again. On Dec. 27, Lin signed with New York, where he had no idea how linfluential he’d become.
His first nine games with the Knicks were a lintroduction. He probably felt more like a lintruder than an NBA point guard. Lin totaled just 32 points off the bench and the team won a handful of games. He was on the verge of getting released again, and then Carmelo Anthony was hurt. There, Linsanity was born in that showdown with Williams, which served as more of a clinic or linstructional session for NBA-wannabe’s.
Suddenly, still a houseguest sleeping on his brother’s couch, he was thrust into the starting lineup. Tragically, though, he was at it without any superstar-caliber help as Amar’e Stoudemire’s brother was tragically killed in a car accident, prompting him to miss four games.
In those four contests, Lin scored 109 points, setting the record for the most points in a player’s first four career starts since the NBA/ABA merger. Yeah, lintense. If ever he was a lintrovert, no more. New York was officially lintroduced to Jeremy Lin and they are now linseperable.
Since those first few games, he’s been a linstitution with lintrared vision, lost linnocence and a linfectious willingness to take on even the greatest foe without any lintimidation. After all, he dropped a career-best 38 points on Kobe Bryant’s Lakers.
In 10 games as Tim Tebow’s lincumbent for Biggest Story of the Year, Lin’s been held to fewer than 20 points just once, while the Knicks have won eight times, largely thanks to his heroics, which he handles with more humility than most 15-year veterans. Even New York sports haters are linfatuated with the kid from Palo Alto, like a linfluenza-type disease that’s linfected our lintegrity as homers because most of us don’t mind seeing the Knickerbockers win on a nightly basis, as long as Lin’s a part of it. As a Boston fan, it feels like some sort of sick lintimate lincest that I’m just hoping is linfertile and never gets placed in a lincubator. The idea of linbreeding is causing me linsomnia and lindigestion.
How long will Linsanity keep up under the spotlight and pressure that comes in a market like NYC? Is linfinity an option? Lindefinitely? It’s already gone on a linordinate amount of time compared to what we all probably linitially expected, leaving us to continue to linquire. That said, I like it. Maybe the NBA isn’t just superstars and super teams. Maybe there is a linequality waiting to happen, one where one man can be linstrumental to a new regime of kids given a second chance.
Then again, maybe that’s not linsightful at all and my linformal linput is just silly. Either way, I’m lingering (that was a freebee!).
If you enjoyed all these puns, I appreciate your linterest. If not and you think this idea is stale or linane, well, I apologize for linundating you but someone was gonna write it eventually. It was linevitable, and I’m lincorrigible!
Adam Kaufman, a native of Massachusetts, joined the Sports Hub as an on-air personality in June 2011. He has worked as a television and radio anchor and broadcaster for various outlets since 2004, and his written views on sports and entertainment have appeared on NESN.com and in the New England Hockey Journal. You can follow him on Twitter @AdamMKaufman.