By Jon Keller

BOSTON (CBS) – It’s the first major scoop of the New Year, and I’m proud to have it for you here on CBS

If you hadn’t heard, the talk of the Merrimack Valley the last few days has been the saga of a local goat, who broke out of his pen at a Lowell farm over the weekend and has eluded the best efforts of the authorities to capture him ever since.

READ MORE: Massive Water Main Break Floods Part Of Beacon Hill

In an exclusive e-mail interview with me Wednesday, the goat broke his silence and described his dramatic escape:

“I caught wind of how some folks were planning to celebrate New Years. The words ‘fresh slaughter’ and ‘succulent goat’ were bandied about, so I immediately started stockpiling milkbones pilfered from the owner. I waited for a night when I knew the owner would be busy, and I used the milkbones to bribe the guard dogs.”

The so-called "Lowell Goat." (Photo credit: Frank Peabody)

The so-called “Lowell Goat.” (Photo credit: Frank Peabody)

The goat says he feels bad about the animals he left behind, but “I did what I had to do.” And he’s been dining out since, he says, on dumpster discards from local restaurants, staying warm with a “goat coat” made out of back issues of the Lowell Sun.

I asked the Lowell goat about the social and political significance of his flight to freedom.

“People have made comparisons to the Arab Spring, but at the end of the day, I’m just a goat trying to stay alive. My biggest role model is actually a group of people: the customers of Market Basket. They stood up against the Man, and they won! I wish I had a sliver of their courage.”

READ MORE: Coronavirus In Massachusetts: Today's Developments

And finally, I asked the goat what message he’d like to convey to the public using his newfound notoriety.

“A simple one,” he said “Why eat goat meat? Why not just meet goat?”

Words to live by in the new year.

Listen to Jon’s commentary:

You can listen to Keller At Large on WBZ News Radio every weekday at 7:55 a.m. You can also watch Jon on WBZ-TV News.


MORE NEWS: I-Team: COVID Patient Unable To Get Monoclonal Antibody Treatment At 2 Hospitals

[display-posts category=”local” wrapper=”ul” posts_per_page=”4?”]

Jon Keller