BOSTON (CBS) – Former Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling said Friday he’s ‘tapped out’ after investing millions of his personal fortune into his failed video gaming company.

In an interview on NESN, Schilling said he “put everything in my name” into 38 Studios, which went bankrupt earlier this month.

“I put in just north of $50 million,” Schilling said, adding that he got none of that money back.

38 Studios was lured to Rhode Island from Massachusetts two years ago with $75 million in loan guarantees from the state.

About 400 people were laid off went the company went under.

Schilling himself is facing a lawsuit from Citizens Bank for failing to pay back $2.4 million.

The FBI and the Rhode Island Attorney General’s office are also investigating.

So what went wrong?

“We could not raise private capital,” Schilling said, admitting that the company got “too big, too fast.”

“I never took a penny out.  We were so close.  It just didn’t work out.”

“The employees got blindsided,” he said.

Schilling also said he made mistakes along the way, including introducing his company’s first game at a store in Massachusetts and not one in Providence, where 38 Studios was based.

“We didn’t engage the local community enough,” he said.

Schilling said he had a long talk with his family to explain to them that he had lost the millions he had earned playing Major League Baseball.  He retired in 2008.

“This was my decision to do this and I failed,” he said.

“I am not blameless here.  I am part of the reason this company failed.”

Schilling said he has also stopped working as a baseball analyst for ESPN saying both sides agreed he will stay off the air until “this thing plays itself out.”

Was he surprised by the anger and backlash after his company took taxpayer dollars from the state of Rhode Island and then failed?

No, he said, but added that it’s “painful to hear people wish and hate.”

“The amount of hatred is surprising,” Schilling said, adding that he’s never hit his wife, never driven drunk and never used steroids.

“I’m not asking for sympathy.  I made, that was my choice.  I chose to do this, I wanted to build this. I wanted to create the jobs and create something that had a very long-standing, world-changing effect.  We were close.  We were close to getting there.”


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