By Michael Hurley, CBS Boston
BOSTON (CBS) — The NFL stinks.
Well, no, we know that to be not true. Otherwise we wouldn’t spend 14 or so hours watching the sport on an otherwise lovely autumn Sunday. With so many apples begging to be picked, and so many leaves just dying to be peeped, we surely wouldn’t be wasting our finite time on this planet by watching something that stinks.
Yet, as the Sunday slate of games played out in Week 6, one could not help but notice all of the many people, things, places and actions that just plain stunk.
We’ve got a lot to hit on here, to we’ll try to keep it relatively quick.
Jameis Winston Stunk
We exported another trash can of a game to London, with Jameis Winston fumbling twice (losing one of them) and throwing FIVE interceptions against the Panthers. Five.
Jameis Winston stunk.
Ron Rivera And Norv Turner Stunk
We’re doubling up with the London game, because the coaching from the Carolina side STUNK. The Panthers’ entire offensive game plan seemed to be a directive to send Christian McCaffrey hurdling into a brick wall as many times as possible.
Got a lead? Run, run, incomplete pass, punt. Rinse, repeat.
McCaffrey, one of the most dynamic weapons in the NFL, ran for 31 yards on 23 carries. He kept getting smothered by defensive lineman or wrecked by speeding defensive backs. In a game where the Panthers led comfortably, the best strategy they could devise to secure that victory was to beat the bag out of their best player, who entered the game with a back injury.
The Chiefs and Andy Reid Stunk
If you throw a challenge flag because you think the officials missed a defensive pass interference, then you better have just witnessed a murder. Anything short of that, and you’re not going to win.
Reid lost that challenge, and a timeout in the fourth quarter of a one-point game, which isn’t ideal when you’re not known for your late-game clock management. The Chiefs’ defense also appeared to be just as bad as last year’s iteration, with the Texans running for nearly 200 yards and three touchdowns. Juan Thornhill’s decision to intercept a fourth-down deep ball instead of swatting it down cost the Chiefs 20 yards of field position, and it came back to bite them immediately when Patrick Mahomes was then strip-sacked on the next play.
The Officiating Crew In Kansas City STUNK
We can’t move on from K.C. without mentioning Shawn Hochuli’s officiating crew. The crew was … bad. Very bad.
For one, they missed an obvious pick by Travis Kelce that helped spring a huge gain for the Chiefs.
The crew tried to make up for that massive error by calling Kelce for offensive pass interference on … this play?
And then later, when Kelce was knocked to the ground while running a route, the officials correctly threw a flag for defensive holding. That penalty negated a Mahomes interception. Yet after discussion, the officials ruled that the contact with Kelce occurred after the ball had been thrown, meaning Kelce would have had to have been the intended target for a penalty to have been committed.
That made sense … except it was totally wrong. The contact happened long before Mahomes threw the ball. (When the coaches’ film is made available for this game, it will not be kind to the crew on this play.) It appeared as though the officials were alerted to the timing of that contact from people in New York, too, which … well, that STINKS.
Terrible officiating all around. It stunk.
Baker Mayfield Stunk
I’m not one of those anti-Baker people that you hear so much about. But I will tell you this. Baker Mayfield STUNK.
Sure, he may have some bad luck when it comes to a dropped pass or two, but the man threw three more interceptions while losing another football game. He has an NFL-leading 11 interceptions this season. He has just five touchdown passes. While completing 56.6 percent of his passes. The Browns are 2-4. Freddie Kitchens is not an NFL head coach.
The Seahawks Did NOT Stink
If you ask me, the one thing the NFL needs more of? Boy bands.
— *NSYNC (@NSYNC) October 13, 2019
Thank you, Seattle Seahawks.
BACK TO THE STINK!
The Miami Dolphins Stunk
Though, that was to be expected.
This two-point try, though?
— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) October 13, 2019
The soon-to-be-0-16 Dolphins STINK.
Gardner Minshew Stu– Wasn’t Good!
We can’t abandon the Gardner Minshew Fun Train, so we can’t say he stunk, per se. But, well … if you look at the stat sheet, you will find a clear odor emanating from the Jacksonville passing portion.
The Ravens Stunk
They won, and Lamar Jackson certainly didn’t stink. But a six-point win over the 0-6 Bengals?
Jared Goff Stunk
Goodness gracious me. Yes, the Niners defense is excellent. But that does not explain away all of the bad reads, bad decisions and bad throws made by the $134 million man.
Goff finished 13-for-24 … for 78 yards.
Jared Goff went 13-for-24 for 78 yards. He's the only QB in the last five years to attempt at least 24 passes and throw for 78 yards or fewer.
Goff became the third QB this year to average 2.0 net yards/pass play or less. The other two: Luke Falk and Josh Rosen.
— Sheil Kapadia (@SheilKapadia) October 14, 2019
The Atlanta Football Falcons Stunk
Similar to Miami, this was to be expected. Because they’re Atlanta. But yeesh.
After getting punched in the mouth for 35 minutes by the previously punchless Cardinals, the Falcons finally woke up and climbed back from a 27-10 deficit to tie the game in the final two min– … wait, what’s that? OK, I’m being told that … Matt Bryant missed the PAT to tie the game? We’re going to have to check the footage here and … oh, yup. Yup. He missed it. He missed it real good.
AZ SURVIVES! Cardinals escape with 34-33 win against the falcons after Matt Bryant misses game-tying XP attempt.
— NFL Guy95 (@NFLFBGAMETIME) October 13, 2019
Jason Garrett And The Dallas Cowboys Stunk
Forget about the final score of the 24-22 Jets victory in New Jersey. That just goes to show that the Dallas Cowboys should have been able to beat the New York Jets on Sunday.
But the Dallas Cowboys failed to show up on Sunday, falling behind the previously winless Jets 21-3. The return of Slingin’ Sammy D. should not have accounted for that severe of a swing on the scoreboard, nor should Amari Cooper’s thigh bruise.
Dallas now has three wins against the Giants, Redskins and Dolphins, teams that are a combined 3-15. They’re now 0-3 against the Saints, Packers, and Jets, teams that are a combined 10-6.
They also forgot to block on the potential game-tying two-point conversion, with boy genius Kellen Moore getting outsmarted by Gregggggg Williams.
Oh, and also? This:
NFL teams are 90-1 since 1991 when they win time of possession, total yards, turnovers, pick up 25 first downs, and convert at least 10 or more 3rd down attempts.
Dallas' loss to the Jets on Sunday is the one loss.
— Bobby Belt (@BobbyBeltTX) October 14, 2019
The Cowboys STINK.
Mike Vrabel Stunk (Sorry, Mike)
Anyone in these headers who would seemingly be interested in beating me up gets an apology on the headline. That’s how it works.
Anyways, Vrabel doesn’t run the offense, but he has to shoulder some blame for his team, which is completely and comically inept. Whether it’s Marcus Mariota (a brutal 7-for-18, 63-yard, 2-INT day) or Ryan Tannehill (13-for-16, but with no TDs and one INT), the Titans cannot score points.
They were shut out in Denver on Sunday, one week after scoring seven at home against Buffalo.
The Titans were thought of as an AFC contender entering the season, but they now rank 28th in scoring with just 16.3 points per game. After their 43-point explosion in Week 1 in Cleveland, they’ve averaged just 11 points in the five games since.
They stink. (Please don’t beat me up, Mike. Your mustache rules.)
Anthony Lynn? L.A. Chargers? Gus Bradley? Melvin Gordon? Pip Rivers? Ken Whisenhunt?
Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, and stink.
Losing at home to a third-string quarterback out of Samford (what is Samford?) with zero NFL experience is bad enough. That should never happen.
Falling behind 24-0 in your home stadium, which is almost entirely filled with Steelers fans, on national television? That really should never happen.
The whole situation surrounding the Chargers stinks. They should move back to San Diego.
Even then, they’d probably still stink.
Is That Enough Stink For You?
The Packers and Lions play on Monday night. Let’s hope it doesn’t stink. (It will probably stink.)