By Michael Hurley, CBS Boston
BOSTON (CBS) — As anyone who’s ever played sports can attest, life is a lot more fun when you’re winning. Life is even more fun when you win on a holiday.
The Red Sox got to experience that on Wednesday, when they waltzed out of the nation’s capital with a three-game sweep over the Washington Nationals. Boasting an MLB-best 59-29 record and heading into an always-appreciated day off, the Red Sox were feeling a bit chipper when they boarded their jet due for Kansas City on Wednesday afternoon.
The Red Sox and the coaching staff all sported their most patriotic outfits before getting on their flight, and manager Alex Cora was kind enough to share those outfits with the world.
The Red Sox also shared a picture of just the players:
Clearly, there’s a lot going on here, and it requires a closer look and examination to determine who dressed the best on the nation’s birthday. It’s time for some power rankings.
LAST PLACE: Rafael Devers
So, apparently nobody told Rafael Devers about this fun trip. And we can’t really rate the best before we address this:
Black shirt, gray pants, black shoes. Ah well. Maybe next year. He does deserve credit for getting in the photo anyway. A lesser man would have stood off to the side.
SECOND-TO-LAST PLACE: Christian Vazquez
There’s technically a splash of red, white and blue in here, but we’re clearly lacking the stars and stripes.
It’s still a pretty cool shirt.
OK, now on to the best.
HONORABLE MENTION: David Price
It’s hard to tell because he’s in the back row, but it looks like David Price decided to go shirtless and drape himself in Old Glory.
The Rocky Balboa look is never a bad one to choose.
HONORABLE MENTION: This Guy
Honestly not sure who this guy is. But he’s wearing a star-spangled beer belt.
That’s worth 100 patriotism points in this game. Well done.
5. Joe Kelly
Joe Kelly got the memo for red, white and blue day and he decided to use it as an opportunity to show the world that he could probably play a ninja in a movie, if a movie were ever in need of an extra ninja.
Bonus points for going with the matching suit shorts. The world needs more suit shorts.
Anyways. It’s been a good year for Joe Kelly in the court of public opinion. He started the brawl with the Yankees after daring Tyler Austin with a “come on,” he received a standing ovation at the TD Garden during a Bruins game, he sat in the bleachers during his suspension, and he’s now informed the world that he’s absolutely shredded. Quite the year!
4. Mitch Moreland
This is just an excellent suit.
It wouldn’t be altogether surprising to discover that Moreland wears this suit on a semi-regular basis. It’s possible, then, that he didn’t even know about the team-wide plans to dress up for the Fourth of July. It may have just coincided with his normal day to wear this fantastic suit.
3. Mookie Betts
When Mookie Betts heard about the patriotic themed day, the young man went full Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Any time you can rock an Uncle Sam type of vest piece, you absolutely have to go for it. Can’t go wrong.
2. Brock Holt
If you were to have polled people “Which Red Sox player would be most likely to sport a male romper, aka a romphim, to the team photo?” on Wednesday morning, Brock Holt almost assuredly would have received the most votes.
It’s a solid outfit. Plain and simple. You show up to a barbecue sporting that little number, and people will be talking.
1. Chris Sale
I mean, let’s be honest. When you first saw the photo, it might as well have looked like this:
The 6-foot-6 fella wearing suspenders with no shirt? He’s going to stand out. Sale — as we well know — does not love sleeves. But you have to appreciate that Sale didn’t stop there. He wore a wonderful bow tie and topped it off with the perfect hat choice.
But, while the shirtless look gets all the credit, don’t sleep on the best part of the whole outfit: The homemade, cutoff jorts.
Nothing is more American than taking a pair of scissors to your old Wranglers and breathing new life into old pants by making them new shorts. We know that Sale has a history of showing off his amateur tailoring skills, but this is by far the best use of his skills thus far.
Congrats to the winners. There’s no actual prize, aside from being known as true Americans.