By Louisa Moller, WBZ-TV

QUINCY (CBS) – Quincy Police Sergeant John Kelly says his wife did not get much sleep Thursday night.

One eye on the side mirror of his cruiser, the 23-year veteran of the force described the moments he and his wife learned five officers were assassinated in Dallas.

“Usually she’s very strong but it definitely brought her to tears. Especially for the families of the officers and then knowing that we go to work every night knowing what lays in front of us,” Kelly said.

This is a process that Kelly has been through before. An officer is shot, he and his family talk, and the next day he suppresses his emotions and goes to work.

“Put my vest on and go out the door and tell them I love them and have a good night and I’ll see them in the morning,” Kelly said.

Lately, it has been more difficult to cope, he argues. Kelly blames politicians for scapegoating the police and inflaming passions.

“It gets harder and harder these days, it seems, because of the rhetoric that’s coming from the top down,” he said, “I would never want someone to think that they couldn’t come to me for help.”

One thing he does not talk about with his family is this daunting question: “What happens if I don’t come home?”

“It’s just something you don’t want to focus on. So, you focus on the good. And, the bad doesn’t usually come up until something like last night happened.”