Rex Ryan Claims Bills Have 'Won The Offseason,' Is Incorrect
By Michael Hurley, CBS Boston
BOSTON (CBS) -- Rex Ryan spoke.
That's essentially the whole story on a sleepy Thursday in the sports world, as just about everyone has grown accustomed to the boisterous head coach yapping his gums about the greatness of his team -- a team that will inevitably fail to back up its coach's bravado.
But, hey, the slimmer, trimmer Rex has also tended to be somewhat sadder and more reserved, which is boring. Fortunately, the old Rex came out to play on Thursday.
"I'm excited about this team. Obviously a lot of things have to happen, and we're a month or so away, but I told our players today to 'win July,'" Ryan said Thursday, according to ESPN. "We won the offseason. I would challenge any team. I think we've won the offseason."
Ryan was then asked specifically if he thinks his team had a better offseason than other teams.
"I do. And that's one that I shouldn't say because they're going to kill me anyway. But we're on vacation -- nobody is going to read it anyway," he said. "But I do. Again, I don't know about these other teams -- I'm sure they've had some great camps, too -- but I've been really impressed with this group."
Ohhhhhh, Rex. Why?
To start, the Bills didn't win the offseason because nobody won the offseason. It's an offseason. The key word there is "off." Many teams have "won" the offseason before (remember the Eagles superteam with Nnamdi Asomugha and Jason Babin and Ronnie Brown and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie and Cullen Jenkins and ... Vince Young), but we all know that come September, April Victory Awards carry little to no weight.
But even if we were to entertain the idea of the possibility for winning the offseason to be something that exists in real life, we're going to act like the Bills won?
They lost Nigel Bradham and Chris Hogan, and they released Mario Williams. Their top pick, Shaq Lawson, underwent shoulder surgery a month after being drafted, which was characterized as a "major embarrassment" for the franchise. Sammy Watkins broke his foot. Meanwhile, LeSean McCoy had to sweat out a few months waiting to see whether he'd face charges for a nightclub brawl that sent two off-duty police officers to the hospital.
Their quarterback is still Tyrod Taylor, who apparently lifted a bunch of weights in the offseason, according to a boastful Ryan. They spent a lot of money on Richie Incognito and Cordy Glenn on the offensive line, but they've provided little reason to believe they'll be improving a defense that ranked 19th in yards allowed and 15th in points allowed. That is, unless hiring the man in charge of the worst pass defense in NFL history (who happens to be Rex's brother) is the antidote.
But hey, Rex is blown away by the way his players have exercised over the past month or whatever. That's nice.
This is a guy who, mind you, gleefully went out and signed the guy who punched Geno Smith in the mouth last summer. Signing IK Enemkpali became a priority for the easily distracted coach, and Enemkpali rewarded him by recording 13 total tackles and making zero impact whatsoever for the Bills. He's the same guy who always loved sending old Patriots players out to the 50-yard line for the opening coin toss -- you know, big names like Kevin O'Connell. Yet in a cruel twist of fate, it was Ryan's decision to dump Danny Woodhead that proved to be the biggest roster blunder in the old Jets-Patriots days. And last year, it was a Patriots player that Rex claimed to not even know by name who came back to burn the coach in a most thorough way.
And this offseason, Rex was back to his old tricks when he went out and signed a Gronkowski brother. I'm sure that will really rattle Bill Belichick.
"I just feel great about it. I see -- I look at where this team is now compared to this time last year," Ryan said, taking a second to chuckle at the thought, "and I said it was a zillion miles. I mean, it really is SO much further along than where we were. ... Wow, it looks good to me."
It looks good to Rex, people. Enjoy your summers; the Bills have already won theirs.
You can email Michael Hurley or find him on Twitter @michaelFhurley.
