Kids Paying The Price For Distracted Parents, Research Says

BOSTON (CBS) -- If you're like me, you're always nagging your kids to turn off their video games or shut down their phones but are we just as guilty of getting distracted with technology as our children? A local expert says "yes", and our kids are paying the price.

"Sometimes my dad is reading an email and that's hard," says 12-year-old Jack Carroll of Wellesley. "He seems to get immersed in it and sometimes it's hard to get his attention."

"The very things that connect us to the people we love the most are also causing disconnects," says Catherine Steiner-Adair, Ed.D., a Harvard research associate and author of "The Big Disconnect, Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age."

She says kids feel hurt when parents seem more interested in emails and Facebook than talking to them.

"These were the words I heard over and over…sad, mad, frustrated, angry, lonely," says Steiner-Adair.

While kids don't always have to have our undivided attention, no matter their age, they need to feel heard.

"It doesn't matter how old you are, you can be 14, you can be 24 or you can be 44, you want your mom or dad's attention and you want to know that they're going to beam on you when you have something important to say to them," she says, "And when you're mid-sentence and they say hold on honey, one sec, you're left, and it feels hurtful."

It's no wonder we're lured by technology because every time we hear a ping or beep from our tablet or smartphone, we get a dopamine hit to the brain, a stimulant. The challenge is to use our higher brain function to ignore those alarms.

"What can't wait?" says Steiner-Adair. "We have so little precious time with our children. So little time in this busy, frantic life we lead to sit down, play games, to really talk and protect those times by learning to not be on your screens all the time."