BOSTON (CBS) — A month ago, LeBron James broke the biggest story of the NBA offseason by announcing that he was returning to Cleveland. Now, Brian Scalabrine is trying to steal some of LeBron’s thunder.

The former Boston fan favorite announced on that he, too, is coming home … as a television announcer.

Scalabrine, or he’s sometimes called “The White Mamba,” wrote an essay in the vein of LeBron’s, though Scal wrote this one with his tongue planted firmly in cheek.

“Remember when I spurned the Celtics and signed with the Chicago Bulls in 2010?  Actually I begged [Danny] Ainge to keep me and he wished me the best of luck,” Scalabrine wrote.

The former power forward wanted to set the record straight on one thing: He was a real coach in the Golden State Warriors organization.

“For the record I never played for the Warriors, I was just a coach, didn’t people see me holding my clipboard,” he wrote, explaining that he had to sit next to his 7-foot-2 center on commercial flights in the D-League. ” I don’t understand why people couldn’t put it together, I was holding a clipboard, I was a real coach.”

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As for why he’s returning to Boston?

“I have two girls and one boy. We have a lovely family,” he wrote. “I started thinking about what it would be like to raise my family in Boston, well not like downtown, more like Metro West or at least twenty minutes outside the city. I looked at other teams, but I wasn’t going to leave Oakland for anywhere except Boston…or maybe Chicago…or maybe Brooklyn…or possibly Los Angeles to go back with Doc. The more time passed, the more it felt right. This is what makes me happy.”

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Scal said he never forgot his time in Boston.

“From the moment I signed with the Celtics, I knew this was my new home,” he said. “Most of the people are just like me.  They work hard, they play hard, and the passion they have for their sports team is unlike anywhere in the world. I had passion for my team just like the fans.  I guess I was kind of like the fans except I had a courtside seat for free and if we were up by 20 with less than two minutes to play I would get to go into the game.”

If you have read LeBron’s letter in full, or even if you just appreciate Scalabrine’s odd sense of humor, it’s a worthwhile endeavor to read the full essay. Then it’s time to prepare for a whole lot more Scalabrine in your life.

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