BOSTON (CBS) – Senator John Kerry surprised a few people at the Boston Bruins Stanley Cup ceremony at the White House Monday afternoon.

The 68-year-old senator had two black eyes and a swollen nose.

His spokeswoman Whitney Smith told WBZ-TV Kerry broke his nose playing ice hockey recently.

Watch Kerry at the event:

Smith would not elaborate.

There has been no comment from Kerry yet.

Last year, Senator Kerry participated in the annual lawmakers versus lobbyists hockey game which raised over $100,000 for the Fort Dupont Ice Hockey Club and the Fort Dupont Ice Hockey Arena.

This year’s game will be held Sunday March 4.

Kerry played hockey throughout high school and college.

Comments (755)
  1. Jay says:

    Is that what they call getting bet up now?

    1. Daddy Molech says:

      The Skull and Bones ceremony got a little rough last time, lol.

    2. Alice Ramirez says:


    3. Christie Restore America says:

      PLEASE, this is obvious post plastic surgery bruising. Hilarious.

      1. Wolfman Jones says:

        Yeah, he’s already tried botox!!! :-)

      2. unsheepled1 says:

        But nothing improved on that face…

      3. freecheese says:

        No. No plastic surgery. He’s still has that Gloria “All-Red-In-Face” Allred ‘turkey neck.’ Should have worn a turtle neck sweater, and Charlie Scheen shades, and walked around chanting, “Dig it, Man?”
        Looks like Mrs. Ketchup threw a whole bunch of tomato cans at him.

      4. Larson says:

        BINGO. One black eye = fight or accident. Two black eyes = plastic surgery.

      5. Freedomhawk says:

        I bet your right. How many 68 year old people play hockey? They think we are stupid.

      6. edmiller says:

        old war wounds that never healed

      7. jon says:

        Everything that can be done is being done…

      8. mrsharfer says:

        Good call, The massive bags he usually sports aren’t there any more.

      9. Rachel says:

        Absolutely is plastic surgery bruising. Look at the SIDES of his eyes. Swollen from a bad Botox injection. Someone ought to tell him….Botox won’t help you when you look like Lurch on your best day.

      10. John Max says:


        You are right. Reality must have hit him in the face.

    4. Pat F. says:


      Anything else is a lie.

      1. james polecat says:

        plastic surgery, no doubt

      2. Abilene says:

        Probably true. Pelosi has good contacts.

      3. grnma says:

        you are right…he also got a chin reduction a couple of years ago…

    5. unsheepled1 says:

      that’s what I figured… Remember Bush’s black eye? Skull & Bones for sure!

    6. lcs says:

      With a hockey stick.

    7. Whackamole says:

      I like it !

    8. tomas says:

      about time someone beat the crap out of him!

      1. Marine72 says:

        Thank you.

    9. David Lanham says:

      Hockey, my a**.

    10. jim masterson says:

      another liberal wussy, couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag. Just like JFK, another Mass. guy who spent 6 months in a combat zone, came home with all his limbs, what’s up with that crap?? Plus he throws a baseball like a wussy, any wonder he’s such a ligh-weigth, same with the big-earred clown in the WH, if you can’t throw a baseball you’re not an American.

      1. Skyshoes says:

        The Swift Skaters for Teabgger “truth” will not let this stand.

    11. Who Cares says:

      You soooo beat me to that comment. Great one.

    12. trevieze says:

      Wife caught him drinking out of the toilet and slammed the lid on his head.

    13. gussier says:

      i was SO going to say that!

    14. xiphos says:

      Would loved to have been playing in that “hockey game”.
      Game Misconduct!

    15. farmgirl1976 says:

      Can anyone say Theresa Heinz Kerry?
      Where has she been since the campaign failed?
      REHAB??? MMM?

    16. farmgirl1976 says:

      “Bet up?” Do you mean “Beat Up?”
      I think he had a face lift!
      No shame in that….not after the Swift Boaters!

    17. bikertrash says:

      Maybe it was little,sweet Theresa having enough of this pompous ass and beating the crap out of him.that’s more like it.

    18. Dave Turner says:

      Nah, he can’t dodge ketchup bottles like he used to be able to.

    19. notalib says:

      Thumbs up!! Funny.

    20. Abilene says:

      He probably mentioned Teresa’s wide butt.

    21. mrunpc says:

      Not sure about that…she’s even worse than HE is on every count, as hard as that sounds to believe.

      Never buy Heinz ANYthing, especially Ketchup…Hunts or any other that’s available.*
      ANTI-Obama/Democrat/Commie/Union stickers, etc.

    22. Gary N says:

      Will he ask for another Purple Heart for these injuries?

    23. Josh Biggs says:

      There is no word yet on whether Kerry plans to put himself in for another Purple Heart.

      1. lgroebe says:

        When did he put in for those purple eyes?

    24. Dave says:

      Lord knows there’s a lot of us out here that would like to assault him or his ole lady with a ketchup bottle….nice they’re saving us the trouble.

    25. Frank Johnson says:

      He will probably write himself up for another Purple Heart like he did in Vietnam

    26. Frank Johnson says:

      He will probably write himself up for another Purple Heart likehe did in Vietnam

    27. John F'ing Kerry says:

      Then he would be walking funny too, Aaayyy yi yi.
      Oh my sphincter!!!

    28. ironage says:

      I think his wife threw a bottle of ketchup at him.

    29. Paul says:

      Is this where I get me a Hockey Stick?

    30. Steven says:


    31. Dee Molter says:

      Let’s give him a purple heart.

    32. demsvoteblindly says:

      When Ted Kennedy showed up like this, the first concern was did the Dem party need to send anyone out to pick up the dead body out of the lake and to hide him till he could pass a breath test.

    33. Leslie says:

      He did not get that playing hockey. No way.

    34. Rocco says:

      “I bet the old lady finally had enough of his BS and clocked him”

      For some reason this conjecture sounds reasonable to me. Several years back we were in South Africa when I became ill and had to call a local doctor who came to the hotel where we were staying. While he was treating me He mentioned that a couple of months prior he had treated John Kerry at the same hotel. I asked what he was like, and the doctor proclaimed John Kerry to be very quiet…”his wife did all the talking”, he said.

    35. Soonerdiver says:

      With a face like his… anything is an improvement! Would you like some 57 Sauce with that??

    36. Dave Barry says:

      Did he get a purple heart for this too?

    37. Matt in Austin says:

      Maybe a visit from Soros’ goons?

  2. JJ says:

    Bet he says he got that in Viet Nam.

    1. Jerry Irwin says:

      He has already put in for a medal and purple heart. I’m sure he deserved the
      black eyes.

      1. maxed says:

        Should have stayed home like Shrub.

    2. Michael says:

      Actually, it was on a secret mission that Nixon forced him to go on in Cambodia….

      1. SerfCityHereWeCome says:

        Yup, the month BEFORE Nixon took office. :-)

    3. les says:

      was he in Viet Nam? Oh yes he was!!! Seems like I remember him mentioned that a few million times. CHe will seek the congressional medal of honor for a nose job.

      1. maxed says:

        Bush kept the Vietnamese out of Texas and Quayle kept them out of Arizona. Don’t know what Rush did. Probably took out 50 of them along with super patriot Ted Nugent.

    4. Gigglez the Clown says:

      He suited up with the Bruins and played for the missing goalie in a pickup game. And Mr. Kerry, btw, served in Viet Nam.

      1. fred flintstone says:

        kerry is a lousy traitor. he served the enemy.

      2. notalib says:

        Your kidding! John Kerry served in Vietnam? Jeez–I never knew. Did he ever mention it? [tongue in cheek & stuck after this comment.]

      3. Maxed says:

        Actually he shot an enemy with a rocket in the back and fox whined about the poor 15 year olds. Much like Hannity whining about Somali Pirates being sniped. Meantime I’ve heard of one of our famous snipers from the Vietnam era being a hero and he took out a 12 year old that had an AK. Of course he wasn’t a dem against a national guard hero. Kerry is a HUGE rich, hypocritical liberal tool but you really win no one over making up stuff. Those that cheer you on are probably the same clowns that had a problem with Clinton cheating and having sex with a subordinate but now say with Newt…Nothing wrong with that. No one is perfect. Said he was sorry!

    5. Tom says:

      He’ll be putting in for his Purple Heart soon!

      1. Cathy says:

        Liberal John Kerry, fell over his butler, how silly of him, on his yacht moored in Rhode Island, so he wouldn’t have to pay more taxes in Massachusetts. One of those millionaires radical liberal Obama is demonizing.

    6. Greyshost says:

      LOL! Maybe he can claim a national medal for HOCKEY BRAVERY!!

      1. muddahen says:

        Only thing I’ve seen Lurch play well is horse hockey.

    7. David Foran says:

      His secretary is already filling out the forms for another purple heart

      1. US Senator Kerry says:

        US Senator Teddy here. Cheer (hic up) up, Kerry, why the long face? Where did you (hic up) sleep after the stupor?

    8. nifongnation says:

      I am sure this injury is much worse.

    9. Welcome Black Carter says:

      He was” swift boated”

      1. Rod Anders says:

        That would be “swift bloated.”

      2. Joe says:

        Since it was while he was playing hockey, he was “Swift Boarded”!

    10. Brent says:

      at least he served in the war and wasn’t a chickenhawk like bush jr. and newt.

      by the way, i served in the air force for 4 years and will NEVER vote for a chickenhawk.

      i’m sure you would.

      1. rangerrebew says:

        So you voted for that honorable veteran Barack Obama? He isn’t a chickenhaw, he’s just a chicken just like that honorable veteran Bile Clinton.

    11. Mike Florey says:

      Nah, someone finally did what I’ve always wanted to do.

    12. jimonthebeach says:

      No, I think he fell on his yacht. You know the one he keeps in Rhode Island to avoid paying taxes in his home state of Mass. Too bad he didn’t crack his thick skull.

  3. John says:

    His wife beat him up.

    1. A Son of Liberty says:

      She really did beat him up!

    2. Dulaney Glen says:

      Most likely.

  4. jasperddbgghost says:

    Ketchup queen has a mean left hook.

    Yeah, it’s a “left” hook….get it?

    1. Danny says:

      Kinda lame.

      1. ChasM1 says:

        Not unless he walksl with his nose.

    2. Scudbuster says:

      She found out he was with a hot tomato!

      1. sebassh says:

        Maybe Del Monte’s ketchup sales caused him to faint, face first.

    3. Alice Ramirez says:

      VERY good, jasperddbgghost!

    4. Bhola says:

      Cha Ching, good for an open hall pass

  5. Crimson L says:

    This is another lie from a politician on something that no one cares about. This is a nose job. Who cares.

  6. Connie says:

    Lol, maybe Teresa hit him in the schnozz with a bottle of Heinz ketchup!

    1. Scudbuster says:

      After she found him with a bottle of Hunts!

      1. sebassh says:

        After she found with another bottle of Del Monte catsup ;)

  7. Wil Whipple says:

    Lovey….the riff-raff have don it again….this time BOTH eyes…..LOVEY!!!!

  8. Brian Titus says:

    Youu Raanngg???

    1. hgrmd says:

      Hey Senator Kerry, why the long face?

      1. Doug N says:

        That face is long because every time he lies, it grows outward, finally grew so large when he rolled over in bed his nose hit the floor.

    2. Dawn West says:

      By far the best comment! So True! can not stop laughing; thanks needed it!

  9. Boston Bob says:

    Sure it wasn’t a wind surfing accident?

  10. Pat F says:

    Quick, order another Purple Heart!

    This guy is so full of it. He is pathological.

  11. Ophilo Obarbo says:

    Someone got the honor of administering due revenge.

  12. Robert says:

    His wife is a tough old bird.

  13. Aaron says:

    Looks like the teamsters finally got to him.

    1. Lets hope another HOFFA story is comming LOL!

  14. SamIAm says:

    Yeah, now he’ll want the Medal of Honor or something.

  15. Janice N. says:

    I bet he got that wind surfing off of the coast of France.

  16. Fred C. Dobbs says:

    Whoever done, give em a medal!

  17. yeahright says:

    more like botched Botox treatment

  18. Prorkba says:

    Only comment I want to hear from kerry is that he’s resigning.

  19. Johnny B. says:

    I’d like to know who did it so I can offer to buy him a steak dinner.

    1. gooddayguy says:

      i sure wish i had done it , but thanks to whoever got it done.

    2. Moogly says:

      His plastic surgeon’s already quite highly paid.

  20. informedvoteryoubetcha says:

    Looks like a good “poster boy” image for the Demorat elitist, “the American people’s paychecks belong to the Government” jackass party!

  21. andyme says:

    He plays hockey? Does someone tie his skates?

  22. Mike says:

    Someone finally whooped his ass. Good. He needed it. hehe

  23. betsp says:

    He tripped over his wife’s money.

    1. gussier says:

      another excellent observation

  24. andyme says:

    Did someone tie his skates?

    1. Stanley11 says:

      They put scotch tape on his blades and when he took that first step….BAM!

  25. Bill Forquer says:

    Bet he gets another purple heart.

    1. cayotedog says:

      My My aren’t we just full of ourselves. You and the others don’t personaly know this man and you talk trash? Says alot about who you are. If you don’t have anything nice to say perhaps you should not speak because there’s enough polution in the air. What have you contributed that’s positive in someone else’s life lately. Bet you can’t even stand next to this man and his many contributions to society, Shame on you Jim Masterson.

  26. Rick says:

    Maybe he told his wife that he liked A-1 Sauce better than Heinz 57

  27. Paul says:

    Most symmetrical hockey injury I’ve ever seen. Good plastic surgery but won.t help that long and ugly mug that was originally injured when Teddy sat on while Kerry was kissing his bu**

  28. DocChuck says:

    It’s George Bush’s fault. George hated that “bunny suit.”

  29. Capt_Incredulous says:

    That’s what happens when you bring home the store brand ketchup, Johnny!

  30. Dr. Serious says:

    plastic surgery gone bad

  31. Voice says:

    “Teresa, not tater-tots again!”

  32. Ginger says:

    I be you someone finally kicked his a$$.

    1. Mickey says:

      It was me!!!!!!! and i’ll do it again!!!!!!! i hadda do it! had enough of him!

  33. Kwills says:

    Did he put in for another purple heart?

  34. Andrew Moore says:

    This clown is right up there with Al Gore, Joe Biden, and Ted “The Cowardly Lion” Kennedy.

    1. Alice Ramirez says:

      I would have said “right DOWN there.”

  35. sandalwood1191 says:

    I bet his wife beat him with a catchup bottle.

  36. john swanson says:

    Got mugged, in a state he can’t carry in. LOL

    1. unsheepled1 says:

      ROFLMAO toooooo funneeeeeeee !!

  37. Jerry Irwin says:

    I am sure Kerry deserves a purple heart more for this than the scratch he
    got in Viet Nam.

  38. dthatch says:

    Oh, oh. Now Kerry’s set himself up to be hockey boated. Did he put in for a purple heart?

    1. Steven Haworth says:


  39. shrugged says:

    I can see John Kerry taking a puck on the nose in a hockey game like I can see Obama running the executive branch of the world’s superpower. . . . or as well as CBS can moderate a debate.

  40. mike says:

    I bet thats worse than he got in vietnam

  41. matt says:

    So that’s what happens when a bottle of Heinz ketchup smashes into your face

  42. Jack Davis says:

    Is that what a Botox scar looks like? Or did Mama T throw all 57 varieties at him?

    1. Scudbuster says:

      One form each state?

      1. deskboy says:

        Yours was the best one yet!

  43. Earl P. Holt III says:

    EVERYONE with a three-digit I.Q. knows Theresa Heinz Kerry whipped his sorry ass…

    1. Bondmen says:

      You bein’ a bad boy there Earls, youz nowz da Senator he be doing that DC crack thing and jack fought back.

  44. lmb says:

    he was drunk and walked into a tree

  45. mirreldo says:

    Complications from cosmetic surgery

  46. Pablo says:

    For once in his life, he actually tasted some reality. Whomever you are, you who whooped Senator Privilege’s ass, may I buy you a drink.

  47. Youbetcherass says:

    Hmmmm…. wonder if he put his ‘french fry’ in someone elses ‘ketchup?’ hehehe.

  48. Joe Namath says:

    If he got that playing hockey then I’ll be playing QB in the next Super Bowl.

  49. Sammy says:

    The truth is he got his but whipped by a girl because his ugly face looks like the Patriots logo..

  50. M Marshall says:

    Thanks done theresa…oops, I mean hockey puck

    1. Robb Nunya says:

      Theresa… Hockey Puck… Who can tell the difference? They both have about the same personality…

  51. Redinbluestate says:

    Where was he playing? With whom? If this country only had a free non-biased press we could find the truth. The new nose looks pretty good though …

  52. HM Phobe says:

    Give him a purple heart

  53. Carlos says:

    Crimson is right. He got a nose job plain and simple

  54. Rosie says:

    Maybe he tripped on a bag of married money as he made his way on to his out of state yacht, where he planned to smugly ponder how he could raise other people’s taxes.

  55. IsmellBS says:

    Hahaha. Hockey… really?
    And risk a broken hip.
    Me thinks there is more to story.

  56. chuckachucka says:

    yeah right lots of 70 something men play hockey lol

  57. Jammer says:

    Did someone “swift boat” him?

    1. Jim says:

      He got swift-pucked!

  58. Mike M says:

    Kerry should know better than to play hockey with the Vietnam Veterans he stabbed in the back these past five decades.

  59. fantasin says:

    sixty eight years old and still playing ice hockey? Sounds like a bunch of hockey puck to me. He probably ran into a Viet Nam Vet who payed him back for the winter soldier hoax he helped create 40 years ago. The lie is less embarrassing than the truth.

    1. Alice Ramirez says:

      I would like to think this is true.

  60. JustAnObserver says:

    How does he have time to play ice hockey? I thought his full time job was being a statue on Easter Island.

    1. Manrice says:

      Kudos- this is brilliant. Still laughing.

    2. Rob in Spokane says:


  61. Jeffrey Shultz says:

    Assuming it wasn’t Bush’s fault, until I’d read the article I was hoping the truth had finally smacked “Old Liveshot” Kerry in the face. No such luck — a liberal forever…

  62. Joan says:

    I was hoping he had cosmetic surgery. He needs it!

  63. Jeffrey Shultz says:

    And a PS to JustAnObserver: LOLOLOL

  64. David Moore says:

    Someone said shut up moron and he stood up – Bong!

    1. gooddayguy says:

      actually this is whathappened when barny franks stood up to leave washington and forgot to tell john he was getting up. understand he had a pretty bad whip lash also.

  65. Critian says:

    Is your food fighting you?

  66. Jeffrey Shultz says:

    And a PPS to JustAnObserver: No, those are stone — he’s wooden.

  67. Alice Ramirez says:

    I like to think his wifey, Theresa, beat him up. LOL!!!

  68. dallasobg says:

    As much as I would like to think someone pounded him, looks like he made a trip to the local plastic surgeon to me. He’s already had quite a bit of work done but it hasn’t helped much. He still looks like Lurch.

  69. tina says:

    communist coward needs more than this. Wait till prison time.

  70. Earl says:

    Whoa, 68 year old men should leave demon rum alone, hehheh. Or maybe he really thinks he is 18 and was playing hockey, hmmm, doubt it. He thought he was on the senate floor and ran his mouth somewhere he should not have is the lkely thing. Kudos to the one who did it, if that is what happened.

  71. mariee says:

    Maybe Gingis Kahn did it.

  72. jeff says:

    I heard he just came from Philly!

  73. freddyzz says:


  74. Alex David says:

    Plastic Surgery,. Guaranteed

  75. Pounce Kitty says:

    Isn’t it crystal clear what people think of Senators and politicians in general? Look at these comments. John F. Kerry is held in absolute rock-bottom “esteem.”

    1. Rascal69 says:

      C’mon, it’s much lower than that.

  76. Infrarad Jack says:

    How do BOTH eyes have hand sized shiners and a broken nose from falling on the ice? He must of fell down multiple times. Or maybe he was getting blown by the Zamboni. Or was the little accident caused from the parents of the latest little girl or little boy he “met”?

  77. Jr Cigar says:

    I wonder wnat he said to Teresa to get her wound up. What ever it was I don’t think it had anything to do with his medals.

  78. Jim Hen says:

    Kerry said on network TV….` Wait til you see the other guy`!!

  79. Hannah Abbott says:

    First of all, I don’t believe he did this “playing hockey”. . .he’s a 68-year old man with the athletic ability of special olympics teenager . .. . and second, the bruising indicates a punch to the face. . . . my money is on that crazy wife of his caught him taking more of her money or she caught him with one of his office aides. . . . .

    Kerry proved in the 2004 election that he is a liar and has no morals.

    1. petem says:

      I wondered how long it would be before someone brought disabled people into this…I have a son who I’m happy to say was able to participate in S.O. If you don’t know, it is a hard life with a child with special needs, one that doesn’t leave time for the nonsense you and others on this board are spewing. You people are so brave, I’m sure you’d have the stones to walk up to the Senator and say this to his face right? Would you have the stones to walk up to me and tell me what a waste of space my son is?
      Never mind I know the answer already, you’re posting on this board instead of interacting with the world and doing something worthwhile…

      1. good grief says:

        I’m wondering how much time you you spend each day waiting to be offended.

      2. LukeJohn says:

        Relax, no one made any aspersions regarding your son’s abilities.

      3. petem says:

        goodgrief…exactly the problem…rather than address the =nonsense of Hannah’s comment turn it back on me…you get a gold star from Rush and Glenn Beck…

        Before you comment you should READ what I was commenting about…

      4. good grief says:

        Sorry petem, that BS doesn’t fly. Your comment had nothing to do with the story, or even Hannah’s comment. You focused on a single word and now want everyone to feel bad for you and your son up there on that cross. You are not doing your son any favors and I don’t think either one of you is a hero just because you have to deal with a certain issue. OK? Everyone has problems and yours is not the best one. How about a comment on the story? Or do you still want to wallow in your indignation?

      5. Bison says:

        What did you have to say when BHO laughingly said his bowling score whould qualify him for the special olympics?

      6. petem says:

        goodgrief, F you you DB. It’s people like you who can’t deal with the problems we have and try to turn the conversation around. I don;t ask for or expect any sympathy for me or my son. It isn’t needed because we have nothing to be pitied for. My son is a extremely upstanding young man, who we taught to live life never leaning on his disabilities. That said, the comment from Hannah was the shallow off the cuff slight that cuts people who are always the last to be considered in life, just a little bit more.
        By the way I don’t need you or anyone else to tell me whether or not I’m a hero. I know I am to my son, and that’s all that matters. You on the other hand are a sad little jerk sitting around looking for someone to poke. Go somewhere else, no one to poke here.

      7. good grief says:

        Oh please, petem. You were the one waiting in here for someone to jump on. You just couldn’t wait to get on your soapbox and start wagging that finger around and scolding everyone. Your comment was completely irrelevant and completely self absorbed. It was all about you and had nothing to do with anything else. Don’t start with yet even more accusations, you pompous ass jerk.

      8. Honest John says:

        Whats your problem, We are talking here about a man who marry’s women for the money and is a liar. If you think he got t black eyes and a nore problem playing hockey you are an IDIOT.

  80. Barry O says:

    More like he got his liberal arse beat

  81. Joe Friskem says:

    One afternoon at the White House with Osama Binbama and Reggie Love.

  82. Alice Ramirez says:

    I LOVE the comments on this story! You are brilliant. I am glad to know that I am not alone in my contempt for this disgusting parasitic man.

  83. slapthat says:

    Teresa done whooped that ho.

  84. Chad Mattison says:

    LOL! Hockey?,…. Surrrrrrrre! More like Dr. Rosenrosen.

  85. lordanson says:

    It appears that the Portuguese man-o-war was learning how to use a rolling pin.

    1. Tex A. Montana says:

      This is what Kerry gets for marrying a firecracker for her dough. She finally figured out that she has been used in a a big way.

  86. john says:

    I’m hoping, that the injury woke him up and he will become a conservative, instead of a leftwing moron…but I doubt it.

  87. Timstigator says:

    If I was that ugly I’d get plastic surgery too.

  88. J.D. Lees says:

    Maybe he thinks “I got hurt playing hockey” is more manly than “I had a nose job.” Politicians are hard-wired to lie.

  89. 1111 says:

    Hail Kerry, black and blue of face.
    Prey for us now, and at the hour
    of our two front teeth

  90. Ken Capach says:

    I heard that he fell of the yacht while trying to tie it up in Rhode Island…

    1. jake says:

      Yeah to avoid the Taxes in Mass !
      I heard it was a golf club and an Escalade,
      is this the same story?!!!

  91. John Svengali says:

    Whoever gave Kerry the check, I’ll buy you a beer! Gigolo John, captain of the “Jolly Dodger” tax-dodging yacht, has received a lot of checks over the years from the U.S. Treasury and two multiple hundred million dollar wives. But this is the kind of “check” he deserves.

    Suddenly, I’m a hockey fan again!

    PS Shouldn’t you put in for another phony Purple Heart, horse-face!

  92. ooh says:

    This is what happens when you DON’T give the black lady fifty bucks.

  93. Ken Capach says:

    Oops… Meant ‘off’…

  94. J.V. says:

    Has he demanded a Purple Heart from the U.S. Navy?

  95. KJ says:

    My hope is that one of the soldiers from Vietnam who he called baby killers and rapists kick his A–, I would.


    1. Bison says:

      Yes, Senator “Stolen Valor” Kerry..he with the 3 purple hearts and silver star with a V for valor (the medal with the V does nor exist), he with the memories of creeping into Cambodian territory being seared into his memory, he who likely has a dishonorable or BCD, he whose best skill is finding and marrying wealthy women is the most reprehensible of beings.

  96. vanman2010 says:

    Understand he got the Nobel Peace prize-just like Obuma(sic) did.

  97. Rascal69 says:

    Can I git me a pair of blade guards for my hockey skates?

    Mr. Kerry, you’re supposed to remove the skate guards before you step on the ice.

  98. Derick Moore says:

    This is odd! I couldn’t find one ‘defender’ in the whole list of comments. Doesn’t anyone like him?

    Nope! He doesn’t have a friend in the world!

  99. John Svengali says:

    If there were a lot of broken ketchup bottles around, it was probably domestic violence – no doubt the closest Kerry ever got to combat!

  100. Andy Ringsmuth says:

    I bet he accidentally grabbed some Hunts ketchup instead of Heinz…

  101. John Svengali says:

    He never looked so good!

  102. Bob Litfin says:

    Probably got tied up with a Clinton Intern

  103. TANKETTE says:

    FINALLY! Someone gave that punk what he deserves…

  104. Don Martin says:

    The making of a presidential nose.

  105. John Svengali says:

    Purple Heart time again!

  106. John Svengali says:

    I didn’t say, Go puck yourself! You need to listen better.

  107. JeremiahJoseph says:

    Senator Kerry,
    Take this opportunity to retire, please!
    We won’t miss you.

  108. Thomas says:

    If I played hockey with this man and I started a fight, do you suppose his bodyguards would step in or would they just let it run it’s course like any good hockey fan would?

  109. Larry Engel says:

    He just couldn’t Ketch up

  110. Yu Kom Suk Ing says:

    News just announced that Bill Clint0n’s privates are also is badly beaten, black and blew.

  111. BadPenny says:

    Who are you kidding Kerry? They are obviously from plastic surgery….why waste the money, you can’t fix ugly!

  112. John Svengali says:

    I didn’t say, “puck yourself.” You need to get your hearing checked.

  113. Consultofactus says:

    I don’t know about a hockey injury but this guy is one of the biggest ICE-HOLES alive!

  114. Gwen Marsh says:

    Three scenerios: It was Bush’ fault or Teresa Clocked him with a ketchup bottle when she caught him with the nurse who knew 27 varieties, he met her when he got the eye lift and nose job.

  115. Consultofactus says:

    I don’t know about a hockey injury but this guy is one of the biggest ICE-HOLES alive!

  116. John Svengali says:

    Is Dr. Frankenstein a plastic surgeon? Sorry, this injury isn’t covered under Obama-Care!

  117. Chuck says:

    He had to change his nose to reflect Chosen ancestry

  118. TJG says:

    Hit his face while dodging taxes.

  119. Gary Johnson says:

    One drink too many, John….

  120. Larry Burdge says:

    NOT TRUE: He got drunk Friday night and fell out the back door of his trailer in the mobile home park.

  121. TJG says:

    I bet this jerk already looked into getting a Purple Heart for this.

  122. The Clintidote says:

    Somebody threw an old-fashioned glass ketchup bottle at his face.

    I wonder who would have access to those?……….

  123. Manrice says:

    Hockey game, my rear end. Either Theresa Ketchup Kerry finally decided to set this freeloader straight or these are lingering bruises from the beating administered by George Bush in 2004.

  124. Foo K. Upal says:

    Can Kerry now claim he now a New York State Jewish putz like Hilary ?

  125. Ben Dover says:

    Holy zeitgeist!

  126. cluelessinky says:

    Hey John, why the long face?

  127. Squeaky says:

    Kerry was standing there minding his own business and all of a sudden, somebody threw some medals over the fence and they hit him in the face.

  128. whatsuphonky says:

    Bush did the same thing to him.

  129. Max Entropy says:

    ANOTHER purple heart for the haughty senator from Massachusetts.
    #4 and counting!

  130. Muzzleloader says:

    Ice hockey injury? Yea, right! Someone opened a can of whoop@ss on him. There are a few million Americans who wished they had had the honor.

  131. Rev. Ralph HAARP Ton says:

    Barry finally threw him under the bus

  132. Larry Burdge says:

    NOT TRUE: John got drunk Friday night and fell out the back door of his trailer at the mobile home park.

  133. Sean says:

    I am not a John “F” Kerry fan, but if the story is true and he got it from playing Hockey, Then hats off to him for getting out and staying active for his age…its more then some of you fat butts who are sitting in front of a pc writing commend, for fac_book or tweeting

    1. Deskboy says:

      Well Sean, we don’t believe it was from playing hockey for a minute.

    2. Rascal69 says:

      If you believe the story that these injuries to his face were obtained during a hockey game, then you’re even more ignorant than John F…ing Kerry. You apparently haven’t been paying attention to his track record.

    3. Chris says:


      Thanks for posting what I was going to say! First the “no way can a 68 year old play hockey” comments made me laugh and then they made me sad. Feel free to not believe him, but anyone who says 68 is too old to play hockey has obviously not been to a local rink recently. There are plenty of older people that are fit enough to play sports since they didn’t waste their lives on the Internet.

  134. Mike Alan says:

    Did he put in a request for a purple heart? He wants to add it to the old ones he symbolicly threw over the fence.

  135. Rick T says:

    He’s in a Fight CLUB!!!!!
    1st rule in fight club don’t talk about fight club!!! hahaha

  136. Rick says:

    All right now kids… I know we’ve all wanted to do it for a long time, but tell me, Who beat the crap out of John Kerry?

  137. Robb Nunya says:

    Don’t believe the hockey story.. When no one is around… Theresa beats him.

    1. Robb Nunya says:

      Q:What does Theresa tell John when he shows up with 2 black eyes?
      A: Nothing. She’s already told him twice!

  138. peteo says:

    I bet he got punched in the face by some badge man hiding by the grassy knoll

  139. David Axelrod says:

    Teresa, the LUSH, probably smashed him in the face in one of her drunken rages.

  140. Manrice says:

    I saw Theresa Heinz Kerry driving around Beacon Hill with a bloody hockey stick in the front seat of her Maybach.

  141. Gary S says:

    If it is not a “Nose” job, maybe he pulled a “Kennedy” and got rip roaring drunk and smashed his face repeatedly into the floor. LEt’s see a film of the ice h0ockey game, you know he would of had a publicist and photogrpher there so he could use it in his relection campaign.

  142. pittbull says:

    I think Teresa beat him with a bottle ketchup because he was seen wearing girls cloths sucking on a Delmonte bottle of hot sauce

  143. pittbull says:

    I think Teresa beat him with a bottle ketchup because he was seen wearing girls cloths sucking on a Delmonte bottle of hot sauce

  144. glenp says:

    and when you think he couldn’t get uglier, HE DIDN’T

  145. Joe says:

    Plastic Surgery or he owes someone something. Hockey…both eyes and a broken nose.. Hmm. Unless he got in a fight or was playing full contact without any pads

    1. Mahadeva says:

      Exactly! The bruising is totally symetrical as would be the case from plastic surgery; i.e. a nose job.

  146. glenp says:

    good thing he’s got such a long face, it was easier for her to hit his target face w the catsup bottle

  147. glenp says:

    John Kerry walks into a bar w a parrot on his head. The bartender askes , “what’s up with that?”
    the parrot responds “it started off as a pimple on my ass”

  148. Jas Aub says:

    No doubt it is a result of his having served in Vietnam.

  149. Elmer Johnson says:

    Obamie must have stopped to quickly for kerry!!!!!
    That happen when you are following to close to an ass!!!!

  150. Dorothy Palmer says:

    Too bad the damage wasn’t greater, like that he died. The guy is a fecal a-hole.

  151. glenp says:

    everything about the Kerry’s is droopy. Remember that braless see thru dress shot of his horse faced daughter with her boobs down to her crotch?

  152. DFG says:

    Hope Theresa decked him

  153. glenp says:

    Kerry walks into a bar leading a horse………

  154. Manrice says:

    Wow, looks like he was Swiftboated.

    1. Mickey says:

      he needs a swift kick to the teeth!

  155. SamIam says:

    Eh, he is a known hockey player so it’s plausible. Just compare before and after pics in a month or two after all swelling is gone to know for sure. Until then it’s speculation.

  156. Scott says:

    Hockey accident? Yeah, right. It’s more likely some father caught him messing around with his under-aged daughter and beat the tar out of him.

  157. george says:

    I think he tripped on his yacht while trying to steer it into an unfamiliar port in the middle of the night — a port in a state with lower taxes than Rhode Island. A new meaning for the term “swiftboat.”

  158. glenp says:

    maybe it was recoil from when ” he got himself some ammo”

  159. glenp says:

    platic surgery bruising??? why would anyone want their face to appear like a droopy butt?

  160. Charlie K says:

    John F-in Kerry has not look that good since George Bush kicked his ass!

  161. glenp says:

    maybe someone popped him for saying “JENJIS KHAN”

  162. murf says:

    The wind changed and the boom on his yatch swung around and clobbered him. Poor guy even spilled his white wine spritzer.

  163. RLABruce says:

    I know how it is, John. Someone played hockey on my face once in downtown Chicago….

  164. Big Doug says:

    He bought Hunts ketchup…..

  165. glenp says:

    when Kerry was born the Dr. looked at his face and his butt and yelled out “TWINS”

  166. glenp says:

    platic surgery bruising?? why would you want to look like a droopy butt?

  167. furtive says:

    he got a nose job for pete’s sake!!

  168. Dan L says:

    Kerry never looked better. Just wish I could have seen it happen. LOL.

  169. jakee308 says:

    John Kerry walks into a bar.

    Bartender says: Why the Long Face?

  170. unsheepled1 says:

    He choked on a pretzel passed out hit his head on the table ..and then came to a little later.. ?

    Kerry got a golfclub on the face for pi**ing off the people he works for( banksters)Just like bush did..remember skull & Bones membership extracts hasrh dues, follks!

  171. jakee308 says:

    Maybe Theresa said “Ketch up”

  172. hutch1200 says:

    Maybe he was dipping his dog in the wrong CONDIMENTS!

  173. jakee308 says:

    He walked into a double door.

    1. The Mayor says:

      Now THAT’s funny!

  174. Ken Pittman says:

    He was trying to dunk the hockey ball over the homerun gate.

  175. jakee308 says:

    Confucius say:

    Man who walk down middle of road get hit by rickshaw going both ways.

  176. Em Spearing says:

    John Effing Kerry is FULL of hockey, and now I read that he plays it, too? Okay, if you say so, CBS. Nevertheless, it looks like a mean right cross to me, and sooooo well deserved. John Effing Kerry is a married-up, presumptuous four-flushing brahman phony.

  177. ImaHippyBurning says:

    “Lurch” getting a little tune up?

  178. thatguy says:

    Someone go check local bodies of water for cars and dead women!

    1. george says:

      Well, you DO allude to a time-tested Massachusetts tradition.

  179. Crosscut says:

    Obama stopped walking suddenly and Kerry’s nose was up his butt.

    1. ChasM1 says:

      That’s a low blow for anyone.

  180. Tbonestk says:

    Two purple hearts are in the mail. One for the black eye, and the other for the broken nose, courtesy of Theresa!

  181. JPRAustin says:

    Looks as though Mr. I served in Viet Nam forgot to strap on his William Holden drinking helmet over the weekend. That or his sugar mama-wife found him lifting a little spending money out of her purse.

  182. Burke says:

    BHO: “John, how many states are there?”
    JFK: “Beats me! Speaking of beating, last night I got 57 varieties of beat down. So, try 57!”
    BHO: “Sounds good!”

  183. Dougie M-bone says:

    Score: Kerry = 0; Heinz = 57

  184. Mahadeva says:

    Betcha he had a nose job!

  185. Jonathan Silberger says:

    He obviously wasn’t leading with his gigantic chin!!! I’d like to give the offender a gold medal!!!

  186. LaVonte d'Ashawn Jackson IV says:

    Lover’s spat. His boyfriend did it.

  187. Phil Humphrey says:

    Yeah, that’s the story. I heard Theresa caught him showing the maid how to make a hot shot up the middle.

  188. Free Willy says:

    He couldn’t stop…skated into the glass head first.

  189. krazy Bill says:

    I bt he broke his nose when obummer stopped quickly

  190. Free Willy says:

    or maybe it was the ghost of John Heinz expressing his dissatisfaction with how his money is being spent.

  191. Stephan Schmidt says:

    He is so full of it. His wife hit him in the head with a frying pan because he was cheating on her.

  192. rgard says:

    Ok, let’s suspend disbelief and assume it was done playing hockey. Another example of Darwin and the idle rich.

  193. John Poland says:

    So Who Was the Guy who did this ….whose Hand I wanna Shake ???? It was a Guy…Right???

  194. Max17 says:

    Did he get is a$$ kicked or just have plastic surgery? Hope it was the first.

  195. rod says:

    You are all wrong. Momma clocked his lying @ss with a ketchup bottle. A Hunts ketchup bottle. She didn’t want to damage the Heinz name.

  196. Garry Taylor says:

    Why the long face, Viet Nam veteran John Kerry? Oh, and what about the two black eyes?

  197. Disappointed again says:

    I was really hoping it was because of an occupier nitwit….

  198. ChasM1 says:

    Was he playing with himself, or were there other hockey player witnesses ?

  199. Baxteria says:

    Do a search for images on Google and you’ll know this jackass just had a nose job. I guess after losing the presidential election, he just stopped pretending to be an alpha male. Just as well, I suppose. Flannel must chafe his freshly exfoliated skin.

  200. Richard says:

    No doubt, with all the botox he didn’t feel a thing.

  201. Courtney De La Gundello von Poppadoc IV says:

    Ice hockey?? LOL. What a cover story. More than likely somone kicked his a$$ for being an obnoxious, pompous, fat cat liberal.

  202. Yu Kom Suk Ing says:

    This is the final result of the Barry, Kerry and Reggie Love three some.

  203. Diego Roswell says:

    So old “Horse Face” decided to finally get some plastic surgery eh? Good for him. Hopefully his hideous wife will be next.

    1. Nico says:

      No amount of plastic surgery can help Lurch.

  204. truspeek says:

    More than likely bourbon and chaser!

  205. In The Rear With The Gear says:

    Probaly got in a fight with Al Gore over who was the biggest Vietnam War hero.

  206. Sandy says:

    Post plastic surgery….Who is he kidding.

  207. Nico says:

    I wonder if he’ll get a purple heart for this one too.

  208. fhwilson429 says:

    Kerry did not go to high school, he went to boarding school in Switzerland.

  209. Wilbur Post says:

    He really WAS playing hockey… he was the puck.

  210. Jim says:

    I always wondered what a Catsup bottle to the face looks like.

  211. J Alan says:

    He must have said “No” to Theresa LOL

  212. Minnesota Fats says:

    “John Kerry reporting for duty! (saluting). These are just old Vietnam War wounds. Hey, can I get me a huntin’ license here?”

    Proprietor: “We don’t serve America-hating, flag-burning, medal-tossing liars. Now get the hell out of here before I hit you in that horse face with this louisville slugger”.

  213. Joel Hartmans says:

    When Clinton got his knee cap broken at Greg Norman’s house in Florida, they sold all the Sugar Plantations to the Saudis. Lets see what Kerry was beaten into submission for. Watch how he votes or what his MAJOR financial contribution is going to be and lets see if it doesn’t favor a group that is unfriendly to freedom.

  214. John Kerry says:

    Award this military hero another purple heart! Can a Senator fill out his own application and approve it the way a Naval Officer can?

  215. Bad Choice says:

    Can we some how work this into a Purple Heart?

  216. j14401s says:

    N E XXXXXX T!!! Who wants t be next. Have hockey stick, will travel should be their name.

  217. rawheadrex says:

    Has he nominated himself for another Purple Heart?

    1. Crash Froelich says:

      Brilliant! ROTFLMAO!

  218. Miss Ralph Monroe says:

    Creepy Carrie, Creepy Carrie!!

  219. Joseph says:

    Guess he said something finally that someone didn’t like !!!! Not hard to figure that out with this ding a ling !!!!

  220. rufus levin says:

    he was playing against a middle school girls team.

  221. Crash Froelich says:

    What, no pancake makeup? He’s more of a mensch than I suspected. Downright macho for a kept husband.

  222. TorresD30 says:

    John Kerry later said “I just stepped into the men’s room with Steven Tyler, and BAM! my face started hurting. Steve told me it happens all the time.”

  223. Manrice says:

    Somewhere a Boston-area cop is counting his money after hushing up Kerry’s drunken collision with an oak tree.

  224. Bob Whiting says:

    Looks like he was talking when he should have been listening.

  225. Dick Ranger says:

    More likely he asked Theresa for an open marriage.

  226. Rush says:

    “Your anal rupture is a doosie Mister Kerry,” laughingly said Doctor Roberts, while he skillfully removed the baseball bat from the Senators orifice.

  227. Buttchop says:

    Obama must’ve stopped short.

  228. Nonnie says:

    Was he in Cambodia over Christmas again?

  229. Devo says:

    Some of these comments would make Leno’s Kerry jokes look like chopped liver. Thanks for the laughter.

  230. BAHAHAHAHA says:

    Swab his cheek for the other mans DNA

  231. JustAGuy says:

    Who is he fooling?

    Somebody tagged him!

  232. Wally624 says:

    Apparently, he and Barack didn’t agree on something and Michelle didn’t like it.

    1. george says:

      Can getting socked with an apple slice really cause that much damage?

  233. merle says:

    He went to Theresa’s plastic surgeon again. Remember the botox.

  234. Bob Forsberg says:

    Probably will ask for another Purple Heart he doesn’t deserve.

  235. fritz von says:

    Stanley Cup disease?

  236. jack says:


  237. bean says:

    OMG that is from BOTOX NOT a *broken nose* if it was from the nose it would have been around the nose! He thinks we are idiots??? He botoxed his *crows feet*!!! Everyone woman I know does it.

  238. markdavismd says:

    Is that what really happened? Or did the Heinz heiress find him with another Ketchup? Mark Davis MD author of Demons of Democracy of which Kerry is the chief.

  239. readmylips says:

    He’s a little old for ice hockey, don’t’cha think?

  240. TC says:

    Is there a lottery for this? Can I get a turn?

  241. Josh Williams says:

    Kerry’s wife probably caught him cheating and smacked him in the face with a frying pan.

  242. John Barnett says:

    His wife beat the crap out of him, he then put in for a Silver Star.

  243. Bob Camba says:

    It always happens, your Sugar Mama gets tired of carrying your sorry ass and she starts slapping you around.

  244. Nunyer Binnis says:

    Hockey, schmockey. Some little girl beat him up.

  245. Timq says:

    That’s a lie, since you wear a helmet with a cage and there is no way to get two black eyes and a broken nose.

  246. walter12 says:

    Does anyone in Boston believe this liar’s story? Are you people that stupid? This guy is a famous arch leftist and a traitor for what he did in 1971, and you take his word? He has never had a real job in his entire life and you believe this creature?

    1. george says:

      Maybe he traveled to Vietnam, tried sitting atop Jane Fonda’s anti-aircraft gun — you know, just to relive old times — and fell off.

  247. peetah says:

    He must snore like a freight train and he caught an elbow to the snot locker while in his sleep

  248. bean says:

    its BOTOX, man. NO kidding. It’s a procedure for wrinkles-rich people get it all the time. It costs about 2 grand an application every 4 months and it causes bruises JUST LIKE that.

  249. GeoWashington says:

    Are we sure it wasn’t from Mrs. Kerry because he is such a wuzz!

  250. robert says:

    I don’t see any difference.

  251. jgalt says:

    i’d check Mr. Heinz into the boards so hard he’d look worse than that

  252. Doofus Porcelain says:

    John Kerry Breaks Nose Playing TONSIL Hockey with Barry, Reggie and the boys.

  253. bigbiz2 says:

    I think Theresa did him in with a couple large Kosher dills..
    He should be the poster child for what the majority of politicians should look like after the taxpayers get ahold of em.

  254. david says:

    did he turn himself in for another purple heart?

    1. Stalker6recon says:

      He was going for a goal, that is at least deserving a Silver Star, with Cluster………

  255. Doofus Porcelain says:

    They popped his cherry

  256. Heinz57 says:

    Mrs. Ketchup with a bottle,
    Gave her Mister quite a throttle,
    When she saw what she had done,
    Punched his nose and eyes for fun.

    1. Rachel says:

      2 thumbs up!!

  257. al says:

    obviously he plays hockey like a girl

  258. Jon says:

    Maybe he tangled with Jengis Khan. Before the grammar police arrest me, I know it’s spelled wrong. It’s not my fault if Kerry can’t pronounce it correctly.

    1. bother says:

      It’s: Janezhish Khaaaaaaaaaaaan you silly poor person.

  259. Stalker6recon says:

    And I thought he looked like Frankenstein BEFORE THE BLACK EYES………..

  260. Banderman says:

    Good Lord, what an idiot. He must play hockey about as well as he serves in government. What a riot.

  261. PaidMyDues says:

    I’m surprised he did not blame Bush.

  262. Mike says:

    Wow… you Democrats can’t let 2004 go, can you. Come on man, give the guy a break!

  263. sgt carter says:

    no matter how he got it, I’m glad and I hope it hurts like H

  264. Dave Autrey says:

    I’m surprised that he didn’t put himself in for another Purple Heart.

  265. GodWeNeedTermLimits says:

    Seems he play hockey as well as he tries to act like an everyday’s man, “Can I get me a huntin’ license here?” And some say Newt is an embarrassment!

  266. SwiftyBoat says:

    The bed wetter broke his nose:

    A) Climbing back over the White House fence retrieving his hard-fought, war medals
    B) Slipped on the deck of his million dollar yacht while returning it to MA harbor in attempt to pay his fair share of taxes
    C) Attempted to remove a squatter on above yacht, did not realize she was a violent OWSer using the bridge as a latrine
    D) While in the bedroom, Theresa as The Lone Ranger, rode him too hard with his bridle!

  267. Kevin says:

    Damn it!! His old lady beat me to the punch.

  268. savvy cowboy says:

    I would’ve LOVED to be the one who body-checked Lurch face first into the ice! It would’ve been my highlight for the month that’s for sure.

  269. Hugh Marlowe says:

    Relax, everyone. It’s just an old war wound that resurfaces from time to time. ‘Course, he can’t prove that because the threw the medal for it over the fence at the White House in ’72.

  270. Dave says:

    “‘To be frank, I am exasperated by the talk of so-called ‘grand bargains’ that would shred our safety net,’ Richard Rogers, the executive secretary-treasurer for the Greater Boston Labor Council, wrote in letter sent to Kerry earlier this week.”

    Looks like the unions reaffirmed their message to Kerry at the hockey game.

  271. art says:

    Looks like the end of a Heinz catsup bottle. Wife throwing things again.

  272. Rachel says:

    Maybe the Constitution ricocheted off of something and hit him in the face when he tried to throw it away

  273. adumbfish says:

    playing hockey — right!

  274. Jack says:


    1. TEePe says:

      Now that is bloody funny!

    2. Charles Hogan says:

      I know for certain he’s a Bill Clinton WHITE TRASH PERVERTED COWARD.

  275. Bill says:

    Maybe he tried to park his Yacht outside of MASS again and got caught…..this is so funny. He’s 68 & still playin’ hockey? He’s either trying to prove his youth or lyin’ like a rug (I vote for the latter)!

  276. TEePe says:

    He could have fallen on a rake……or a Republican tax break?

  277. pokey says:

    Probably a domestic violence episode! I guess we know who won!

  278. JMR says:

    Some real Vietnam vet, (not a protected pretender like Kerry) probably warmed his head up for him. Hey, maybe he’ll put in for yet another purple heart for his injuries.

  279. Mark says:


    Plenty of 68 year old men play hockey, especially if you played in high school and college. Canada is full of older leagues. In the US 18 and over is usually adult, so it’s tough. I’m 44 and still play hockey and plan on playing until I cannot.

    1. Rudy says:

      Those glass Heinz bottles are brutal.

  280. freecheese says:

    It obviously didn’t mess up his thousand-dollar hair do ! Why don’t we see him wind surfing, jogging, and bicycling anymore? Wink, wink ?
    OBTW, he served in Vietnam for 4-months ! :)

    1. AZ Dave says:

      But he claimed he was in Cambodia … some tough guy eh …

  281. Jsmith says:

    He’s 68? If he was really playing hockey hard enough to get his butt whooped, I’m impressed.

  282. billy boy says:

    His rich wife Theresa probably crossed her legs while he had his tongue up her azzzzzz…..

  283. Obamamomma says:

    Kerry actually slipped on a banana peel or had an chronic internal injury from Vietnam surface to which he has applied for the Purple Heart.

  284. Hussein says:

    I heard that he was in Viet Nam…can anyone confirm…POSEUR!

  285. jaxadams says:

    Obviously NOT a hockey injury. KERRY HAD MORE COSMETIC SURGERY. Ask any doctor.

  286. AZ Dave says:

    Playing hockey … BS … Bush beat his azz senseless again … limpwristed east coast elites really shouldn’t play with Texans …

  287. SaraSmile says:

    Role playing as “Jengis Khan” in a cheap motel.

  288. tomSERVO says:

    He plays hockey in a fashion reminiscent of “JEN-JIS” Khan

  289. Reagans Ghost says:


  290. blancojoe says:

    How many purple hearts does this make??? What is he trying to get out of now?

  291. gildo dildo says:

    It’s about time that someone does a number on his horse face

  292. Paul Juchniewich says:

    Have you ever seen his wife …WTH

  293. Binky says:

    Boy! that Teresa sure is tough!

  294. SFC says:

    John Kerry does NOT know how to tell the truth. He had a face lift! When you get hit in the eye/nose with a hockey puck you get a (1) black eye. His face, his jaw bone, his chin and his ego is swollen and bloated. John Kerry can not tell the truth. EVER!

  295. xiphos says:

    Would love to have played in that “hockey game”.
    “Boarding and a Game Misconduct”!

  296. fabio says:

    Yeah, it was ice hockey, that’s the ticket…

  297. Kim Atkinson says:

    The Bruins Goalie got him.

  298. donw says:

    Rumor has it that when he saw the flack given to Romney over paying a 15% tax rate, he was carrying his income tax returns, as well as his 12% tax rate to the fireplace and tripped at the top of the stairs.

  299. Kim Atkinson says:

    For the love of God if you had a face lift just say it, HOCKEY! Come on.

  300. JungleCogs says:

    I say that ketchup bitch finally nailed him!

  301. Robert Noah says:

    He got it in a men’s room somewhere. They didn’t play those games.

  302. Sara Bellum says:

    Humm…too many scotches on the sail boat maybe??

  303. Steve Smith says:

    He couldnt bring his wife to orgasam and she thre him from the bed

  304. Hugh G. Rection says:

    Looks like Gengess Kahn may have gotten “Tiger Woodsed” by Teresa :-)

  305. Rick O'Shea says:

    Has he got a purple heart yet? Somebody beat the h**l out of him and it wasn’t hockey. He probably stuck his big nose into someone’s business, but, on the other hand it could have been Teresa?

  306. Knute Rockney says:

    I heard Barney Frank was teabagging him and slipped.

  307. Chief 49 says:

    I think he was picking his nose and was up to the knuckle.

  308. stoytashaan says:

    what a bunch of staged BS.

  309. moreco2 says:

    Doesn’t he look just like a goat! Wife doesn’t like it when he’s out fking his goats. Come to think of it, neither do the goats.

  310. dam says:

    Probably ought to stick to fabricating his war records.

  311. notsoslow says:

    We have enough left wing conservatives now!! He deserves a purple ass award for sure

  312. Okra Windbag says:

    Looks like he told Barry that he might challenge him in the Democratic primary and Barry sicked the TSA on him.

  313. SteveT says:

    Has he applied for a Purple Heart yet?

  314. Cynthia says:

    He got injected with filler, Restylene while at the Plastic surgeon’s office.

  315. David Christensen says:

    Boris Karloff wore a better face.

  316. Ben Dover & C. Howitt Fields says:

    Looks like Jenjess Kahn got “tigerwoodsed’ by Teresa with a hockey stick shaped ketchup bottle ;-)

  317. Steve says:

    Who wouldn’t like to take a slapshot at John Kerry? wish I could have.

  318. Ben says:

    Bad botox moment.

  319. PappyHappy says:

    Please, please — let’s elect a NON EGOTIST next go around. That is one of the things I cannot help but like about Sen Brown. He does not attempt to be something he is not.

  320. RM says:

    Plastic surgery leaves bruising like that, perhaps not so likely a nose job as eye bag removal and other miscellaneous nipping and tucking around the eyes. I also noticed in the photo initially posted on this page his relatively unlined forehead, probably resulting not from plastic surgery but more likely from Botox injections. If this old guy had broken his nose playing ice hockey his public relations team probably would have produced a photo of the incident to document his manliness. (One must ask why they switched the photos on this page–the first photo was much more graphic and interesting.)

  321. Noah says:

    Nah, he got ruffed up by the many gangsters he has to pay daily to ensure he gets reeelected. This is New England, huntie. One does not vote, one buys voters.

  322. MCGIRV says:

    He will get another Purple Heart for that

  323. greg says:

    wish I could have swung that hockey stick

  324. Sam Freeman says:


  325. Mark says:

    He should have consulted Pelosi before plastic surgery. Leatherface surely knows a good doctor.

  326. nosmo king says:

    hey john, why the long face?

  327. Finbar says:

    Theresa! Six hard jabs straight up. Ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh. Before he even knew she was angry!

  328. Ron Hyatt says:

    Are you sure he didn’t fall off the couch in a drunken stupor after choking on a pretzel?

  329. Roy Collins says:

    “John, you want some ketchup with the fries? ”

    “No honey, I hate that s**t”


  330. Tee Aitch says:

    You people are a bunch of snarky bastards, aren’t you? No wonder this country is in trouble. I think you should all go to the Atlantic coast, face north, and turn right. It would be like leaning over the plate and taking one for the team. The Right Is Wrong.

  331. Plasticano says:

    I made a call to someone I know associated with one of his big donors….

    JOHN KERRY HAD PLASTIC SURGERY. He’s having an issue with the capillary blood vessels not healing properly. LOL

    The surgeon probably used the eye fat to give the man a penis for the first time in his life. No man creates daughters only. That would require an extraordinary amount of estrogen in the system prior to copulation.

    Get ready to see the before and after photos.

  332. Colonel Kurtz says:

    It would appear as though foreplay with a ketchup bottle can at times be similar to a snail crawling on the edge of a straight razor……

  333. Sup Stew says:

    With deepest regrets…
    …that I was not there to see it happen.

  334. Alana says:

    Whacked by a ketchup bottle, but get this… it was self-inflicted.

  335. Alvin Marcott says:

    quick, let’s get this guy another purple heart!!!!

  336. oklahomabound says:

    When I first saw the picture I thought someone kicked John Kerry’s @ss, then I read the article and realized the picture was of John Kerry’s face.

  337. Gene Zippy says:

    Truth is? … It was his idea to hit Newt with that first question in the SC debate! They got him in the back room later. ;-)

  338. Gerald Zirnstein says:

    That Heinz Ketchup heiress he married kicked his ass again!

  339. olegunny says:

    Want to bet the creep puts in for another Purple Heart.

  340. peetah says:

    He must snore like a freight train, and caught an elbow in the snot locker while he was asleep

  341. Maxwell Jump says:

    Fidel must of farted.

  342. spaceman says:

    This guy is such a sissy, he probably got beaten up by Barny Frank.

  343. NormB says:

    How much would YOU have paid to be the player who got the chance to whack this pompous ass in the face without fear of reprisal?

  344. Big TX says:

    He made that story up. The truth is he got hung up with his old lady like a dog and she drug him up under the bed.

  345. Maxwell says:

    Maybe one day he’ll learn to keep his effin mouth shut.

  346. VulturesPicnic says:

    Some great lines people. Thank you for the laughs.

  347. so sweet says:

    I see a Purple Heart in his future

  348. Mike says:

    OOOHHH! Got Swiftboated eh?

  349. NCMike says:

    He shouldn’t have said, “Pass the freaking mustard.”

  350. MassJim says:

    Two things about this story: 1.Where has Kerry been hiding that no one noticed this before now, and 2. If he was playing hockey, why was this never mentioned by any one of those on either team. Were there any spectators to the game? Lets go Globe. Get some real reporting done.

  351. Eagle35 says:

    Lady Heinz kicked his butt! Johnny will probably get a Purple Heart!

  352. Brad Skidmore says:

    Me thinks he got whooped but good by the Heinzenator!

  353. The Rock says:

    He got beat up by Hillary Clinton. She body slammed Kerry, and put the boots to him. Total wimp, time to resign.

  354. mameshki says:

    Playing hockey my arse…his wife kicked his arse you stinking weak kneed NE Liberal. Go take a swim and collect your fake medals

  355. bulldog49 says:

    Looks like a Vietnam vet tossed a few medals into that mug, and it’s about damn time.

  356. Elvis says:

    Kerry is a liar he had plastic surgery so he would not look like lurch look at before and after pics

  357. rex dart eskimo spy says:

    Global warming is just tragic.

  358. russ says:

    skull and bones for sure. Five minutes in the closet with old man herbert and you are guarranteed two black eyes

  359. Tom says:

    Looks more serious than his Vietnam wounds

  360. tonidaho says:

    The real story is that the secret service let him get within 20 feet of an actual US citizen and he got clocked!

  361. Ronbo says:

    His wife worked on him some. She could have done a better job on him.

  362. Mauna says:

    Theresa finally figured out he married her for her money. Take that multimillion dollar yacht away from him, Theresa. He bought that thru Heinze anyway.

  363. freecheese says:

    I am a retired Navy member. I served 22-years on active duty as a SEAL and as a Seabee.
    I served two split tours in Vietnam, for a total of 18-months. I was wounded once, but I STILL can’t figure out how Kerry, who spent 4-months in Vietnam managed to earn a Silver Star, a Bronz Star (with a “Combat ‘V’ for Valor) and three Purple Hearts. He conviently had a Boston camera crew to record SOME of his so-called ‘valor’ during his brief tour.(Walking on a river bank with a rifle and a stern look on his face !)

    OBTW: The Bronz Star he “earned” (with a ‘V’ for valor) was awarded for shooting a fleeing 14-year-old Viet Cong in the back!
    His commanding officer was sick of his show-boating camera- crew tour, and his tour was terminated at the first chance. That’s why he was “Swift-Boated.”
    I loved the pictures of his black eyes and busted nose. Notice, he still maintains his thousand dollar hair do.

  364. ssengland says:

    Kerry has the arrogance of “A Chosen One” because Uncle Ted (Kennedy, ya know: the guy that committed at least manslaughter). In his world, we, “the great unwashed”, are too stoopid to know what is the best for ourselves! Only THEY know what is best for US!!!

  365. RVN '70-'71 says:

    I;m thinking a REAL Vietnam combat vet took him down and beat the CRAP outa him…

  366. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    It was a hockey game alright. She smacked the turd.

  367. tiki886 says:

    No means no, John.

  368. Mauna says:

    Kerry appears to also have a big swollen lump just below the left side of his lower lip. That must have been a big hockey puck. I really doubt he was playing hock at his age. More like playing around.

  369. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    Madame got the money. What’s he gonna do? Walk on her?

    I suspect that he will behave from now on. Madame showed him who the better man is in that marriage.

  370. ssengland says:

    …although, after seeing the OWS folksmebbe they do, for SOME IDIOTS!!!

  371. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    Madame Ghegis Khan old Johnny.

  372. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    That;s a Purple Heart….ahem..’.eye.’. A double medal. I bet that it was Christmas in Cambodia.

  373. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    I wonder how many wounds he has on his arse?

  374. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    “Hello. I’m Lt. John Kerry and I’m reporting for an arse whuppin…”

  375. Cap says:

    I almost feel sorry for him…..

  376. American Patriot says:

    Has he written his Purple Heart recommendation yet? Surely this true American hero deserves yet another one. Put some ice on it!

  377. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    Where is Gov. John Dean when you need him?

  378. hebgb says:

    Truth be known, it was Terresa who caught him sneaking out and beat the snot out of the little dweeb.

  379. SerfCityHereWeCome says:

    BWAAAAHAHA. Arrest his quack for Botoxing While Intoxicated. Well this should be good for a couple more Purple Hearts to go with the 3 he got for cutting himself shaving in Vietnam.

  380. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    The Hockey score:

    Kerry 0
    Teresa 2 black eyes and one busted nose + one crushed man.

  381. Liz says:

    He is just updating the face so he will look young enough to be the default candidate when the dems ditch Obama at their convention.

  382. SerfCityHereWeCome says:

    Leave it to the Ketchup Corpse to step on another PR rake. Windsurfing, painting himself orange, the Great Botox Horror of ’12…

  383. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    Johnny, he a big man on the hill.

    At home, he just like the rest of us….”Yes Dear. Right now honey. Just as you say, sweetheart.”

  384. MAJack says:

    I figured he was trying to change his identity in another attempt to dodge the excise tax on his yacht.

  385. cojo says:

    Teabaggied by Barney

  386. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    With Edwards out ofn the Party, once again, Johnny has the best hair of all Democrats.

  387. Robert Marvin Smith says:

    I got to jet. but one more thing.

    That gal ain’t taking no shiiiit, She Portugese.

  388. David Dean O'Keefe says:

    ran into a few of th real Swift Boat Veterans

    1. David Dean O'Keefe says:

      he’s a serial gigilo

  389. Kate says:

    Meh, just more cosmetic surgery.

  390. EYE says:

    Why do I think Theresa had something to do with this? What a pansy.

  391. keithacita says:

    john fitzgerald kerry-kerry-kennedy-lenin-boxer-elmo – two term shadow president,
    ubermeiter ubercommittee, nobel prize for gravitas, co-biggest gun in the senate, commando supremo seal team cinco.

  392. Tim Thomas says:

    This story is false…he feel down on John Henry’s Yacht

  393. littleleers says:

    Looks like he has had a nose job (gives you black eyes) for cosmetic reasons or for a deviated nasal septum. Sounds more manly though to say it happened during an ice hockey game. Check out other photos of Kerry on the internet and there is a noticeable difference in the appearance of his now “then” and “now”.

  394. Mike says:

    Someone should check his ass for a Heinz Katchup bottle. I’ve leave my wife if she did that to me.

  395. littleleers says:

    oops, typo….”nose”, not now

  396. Roger the Lodger says:

    Hockey, my left earlobe. The only hockey about his story is Bull Hockey. That’s what he gets for going to one of those plastic surgeons with his office in a shopping mall.

  397. Richard Einstein says:

    I would have loved to break his nose and jaw.

  398. Holugu says:

    Nothing beats mad Teraysa!

  399. Fidlin1 says:

    The first thing Kerry asked after the accident was , Doc , does this qualify me for a purple heart?’

  400. Sterling Snapback Leal says:

    When they “fix” the nose, they have to break it, a broken nose often cause two black eyes. Should have had it done during a recess. Lying bag of of crap.

  401. Robert says:

    Funny how there are never any witnesses when Dems claim to have done something. Who are the guys he was playing with? Wouldn’t it be interesting to hear how he handled it from them? . No one knew Obama at college. No former girlfiends. Missing years…

  402. Roop says:

    Did he blame his secret service agents? (FLASHBACK TO ’04 when he fell while skiing and blamed and cursed his agent cover – you know the guys who are there to take a bullet for him)

  403. mike says:

    maybe he’s tired of looking like an easter island statue.

  404. Truman Capote says:

    The word on the street is that he walked into the Oral Office and saw Barry, Reggie the Love Bug, and Larry from Chicagoland engaged in an intense 3-way (and I’m not talking about a chili cookoff, if ya know what I’m sayin’). PS Always remember to pronouce your G…..ed adverbs :-)

  405. timma says:

    432 commentts…… jonn……….maybey you arennt that liked

  406. Chris Chrispy Cream says:

    Looks like Big came through……Thanks from Snookie!

  407. cbinflux says:

    Johnny refused to wear the French buttler costume for Theresa…

  408. cbinflux says:


  409. Ron in California says:

    I say he got the bruises wind surfing–He got them before he eanred the.

  410. Edgar says:

    Theresa: “JOHN!?!?!?!? I SAID NO WIRED HANGERS!!!!!!”

  411. ImpeachThatPunk says:

    We can only hope that someone walked up to his highness in a restaurant, said something to the worthless SCUM, then beat the kcuf outa’ him…
    It’s perfectly LEGAL for me ( and a coupla’ other MILLION people ) to HOPE that’s what happened. No crime in hoping… yet… is there ?

  412. KatieS says:

    Maybe he ran into a few VietNam veterans in the alley.

  413. GrizzlyMamma says:

    John and I played a one-on one hockey match and he lost….You betcha……

  414. Joe says:

    Don’t forget he was in nam

  415. IraqVet says:

    I’d like to think the gods have smiled on the peasents and other mere mortals, or perhaps it was karma…or perhaps he fell down a flight or two of stairs at home while his wife was conveniently away frome inspecting her plantations.

  416. Butch Blosc says:

    Along with JaneFonda, Kerry is honored in a Communist Party War Museum in Hanoi for assisting the communist victory in Vietnam. But he’s your hero, CBS Boston, so just keep doling out those puff pieces.

  417. john kerry jr says:

    his wife gave him an assssss whopping

  418. test4echoman says:

    SNOPES.COM – Accident at the White House…..”Obama stops short and is rear ended!

  419. Jason, NYC says:

    I bet this will be the last time he doesn’t say thank you to his wife when she gives him his allowance!

  420. Montford John Greenwood says:

    I hope a citizen sucker punched his face.

  421. Xango says:

    I am ROFLMAO!!! I can’t top any of these…priceless!!!

  422. Cat in the Hat says:

    Kerry walked through Occupy New York and passed by hot dog vendor. A liberal miltant demanded a free hot dog, and ketchup. When the condiment was not available, they asked Kerry to donate a condiment favor. Kerry said he was all out of condems….and got really hurt.

  423. Tom Cutler says:

    What is with this half-sissy? First he thinks he’s John F. Kennedy now he thinks he Sydney F-in Crosby! Why doesn’t friggin antique climb on his boat and sail off forever?

  424. Louis R. Boucher says:

    He got his medals and pictures with the NVA an VC in the war museum in Vietnam and that’s where he should stay not in the USA.

  425. Dmunqui says:

    Let’s see, his “aide” Kiriakou gets busted leaking CIA identities to GITMO prisoners, then the the traitorous ‘senator” shows up like this. We should just move along and smile.

  426. CommonCents says:

    It seems the lobbyist issued some punishment… probably lobbying for SOPA or PIPA.

  427. Rachel says:

    Who does this Lurch-looking girly-man gigolo think he’s kidding? If BOTH eyes are black, it’s from plastic surgery (as if ANY amount of that would help his ugly mug). Either that or he got beat up in the stands at a hockey game.

  428. YourBoiiiii says:

    I heard RON PAUL kicked his ass! :)

  429. Bob says:

    Looks like he got greeted by some constituents..

  430. Rod Anders says:

    Why is a 68 year-old moron playing ice hockey? Then he’s supposed to develop instant good sense before making legislative decisions? How do we know his wife wasn’t trying to beat some sense into him.

  431. hawkdriver1961 says:

    Probably plastic surgery, but I really would like to think a military veteran got a piece of him….

  432. Jasonn says:

    Bet you a doughnut he forgot to duck that ketchup bottle. ; )

  433. Kim says:


  434. johnbo says:

    looks more like he got his ass kicked to me

  435. Kip Noxzema says:

    So the hockey puck hit his nose, backed up, hit one eye, backed up, then hit the other eye? All before he could react, right? Really?

    More lies from the Libs, like always. It makes me yawn.

  436. richmondtommy says:

    Likely story!!!

  437. Grndma says:

    IT sure looks like plastic surgary to me, and or someone finally beat the crap out of him. HOCKEY..huh..silly man.

  438. Tupelo says:

    Not a fan of Mr. Kerry, but if he really got that injury playing hockey at 68 years of age, I am impressed.

  439. grnma says:

    Does anyone remember when he had his chin reduction?,his face was swollen, he change his whole he got an eye left or nose job

  440. Steve M. says:

    Kerry must have played the postion of “punching bag.” Frankly, I thought he went 3 rounds with Mochelle Antoinette.

  441. 3Danalyst says:

    Secret plastic surgery?

    1. Floyd Martin says:

      Well that is possible but who in there right mind would go out in Public with that if it were a Secret?

  442. grnma says:

    Yeah right playing hockey! hahahha he still thinks we are stupid,what a joke.

  443. Pete Cox says:

    Must of been some time at BOHEIMIEN GROVE.Don’t know what that is Google it.

  444. Mike Steiner says:

    punched out by a real soldier.

  445. John USA says:

    My hero!!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL

  446. anne says:

    NOSE JOB, duh!! (look at the honker in older pictures compared to the new smaller version,) Lying, vain old coot.

  447. blackbear1 says:

    Wish I had a shot at him….

  448. Jack P says:

    If the truth be known, someone finally “decked” this liberal weenie.

  449. dudefromdixie says:

    sort-of looks like he got hit in the face with a Heinz catsup bottle. Teresa are you there dear?

  450. FGump says:

    It’s Bush’s fault!

  451. Jack P says:

    Do you suppose that he fought with a guy who tried to dishonor Teresa and he came out of the fray on the short end?

    1. gooddayguy says:

      you have got to be kidding fighting for anybodys honor would be beyond belief

  452. SophiaH says:

    but.. but..
    how did he get the huge bump on his left chin as tho he was hit HARD by a right handed person ?

    jus an observation here…

  453. Nico says:

    You have to feel sorry for the staffer who was in charge of lacing his skates… when he heard Kerry talking about “double cross” he must have thought he was taliking about his laces..

  454. Jim Morrison says:

    This guy got his a _ _ whooped somewhere and he made this excuse up.

  455. laronl says:

    Face lifts take a long time to heal at his age. But then again, with such a long face as his, it probably took the whole medical staff to do it

  456. mike P says:

    Can you picture live shot (kerry) playing hockey without a helmut and face mask. I can’t!!
    Plastic surgery for sure.
    Where are the guys he was playing with to back up his story too.
    he must have been playing by himself like so many people do. LOL.

  457. Barry Soetero says:

    Looks to me like someone punched him in his *ss!

  458. JerzeyBoy says:

    I guess he did not see his wif’e’s butt stop lights and “rear ended” her.

  459. clizbe1 says:

    Playing Hockey.. Hooky, Nooky.. Oh what the hell. Want me to send him another “Purple Heart” Viet Nam Vets for Mental Disorders.

  460. Two black eyes, swelling on the side of his face and a broken nose. It may have happened on the rink but that it looks like he was on the losing end of a good old fashion throw down. Knowing Kerry he probably was talking his usual trash when he said the wrong thing to the wrong person.

  461. dj says:

    I’m glad they did that for “such” a worthy cause, as the “lawmakers & lobbyists ice hockey arena”. And you guys have said Kerry doesn’t have a heart. Perhaps this year’s event will be for the “lawmakers & lobbyists coffee & muffin lounge”, another worthy cause.

  462. JBC says:

    Left over scars after W beat him in 2004.

  463. Melvin says:

    I wonder if he as awarded himself some kind of military medal for his newest boo boo.
    How can a Hockey stick, not help but not miss that face, cause it’s so pan shaped.

  464. Karl Magnus says:

    Playing hockey? Ya sure.
    Maybe TerAZA caught him leering at a woman with more money than her?

  465. steve says:

    Nothing a little neosporin and a band aid can’t fix huh? Wonder if he is going to write himself up for a 4th purple heart blunt force trauma from a ketchup bottle?

  466. blackbear1 says:

    Actually, he looks better. Must be getting ready for a part in Slapshot 2.

  467. blackbear1 says:

    Aren’t these adult mens hockey leagues “No check”? Perhaps the headlines should read “Black eyes from botox operation”

  468. billc says:

    Whoever smacked him in the face should get a medal.

  469. The Bobster says:

    He wants another Purple Heart.

  470. jdcj says:

    Hes making this up. Hes no athlete and since hes a lap dog for a crazy lady she would never let him outfo the house.

  471. Joe Lucido says:

    Someone clocked him pretty good, If he plays Hockey like he plays a Senator, I’m sure he deserved it.

    I just wish I could have been on the ice for that game, he wouldn’t look that good. A little check here and a little check there just might knock some sense into the liberal, lying, little weasel that Kerry is.

  472. Nick Furry says:

    Will he get another purple heart for that wound? He alredy have 3 of them and never spent a day in the hospital to earn any of them! Geeze, that seems a bit odd!

  473. Doocey says:

    Now he really looks like Herman Munster

  474. john says:

    i don’t like Kerry but these comments show the vast majority of people are cruel and horrible and take delight in the pain of others. We live in a horrible world.

  475. fantum says:

    Somebody had fun :)

  476. GoldenRudy says:

    Just like his “heroic” actions in South Vietnam. All lies! If he really was playing hockey, does that not speak to his idiocy as he is 68 years old?

    1. Floyd Martin says:

      I Have a Friend 71 and he want’s to get his Private Pilots License?
      I said can’t believe the Fed’s would give you one at your age and I Dang
      sure would not fly with ya! Look Folks that ticker we all have has only has so many ticks and then it is just over! A dead Pilot at 10,000 ft is how do you say it?
      NOT TO GOOD!

  477. fantum says:


    The Swift boat Vets were 4 to 1 against Kerry, including his entire chain of command. They nailed him on his lie that he was in Cambodia (he admitted he never was) and he never came clean on how exactly he received 5 MEDALS IN LESS THAN 4 MONTHS TIME. That’s quite amazing if you think about it. One doesn’t think of the hippie anti-war Kerry as some kind of Rambo collecting medals at a world record pace. John Kerry demonized his fellow soliders in Vietnam and HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED from them.

    John Kerry – Vietnam Sellout…

    John Kerry – Winter Soldier…


  478. Floyd Martin says:

    He pee peed somebody off!
    Wonder if they will give him another Purple Heart?

    1. Jim in Houston says:

      Nah, it will be a Medal of Honor – just as phony as his Silver Star.

  479. desert says:

    Someone was just trying to get the dimwits attention…!

  480. Jim in Houston says:

    I wish it had been me giving the shiners to the phony hero.

  481. desert says:

    couldn’t happen to a more deserving clown

  482. Phillysmart says:

    Yeah right…somebody finally bopped this traitor…should of happened a long time ago

  483. sandiego1969 says:

    Either a tough town hall meeting or his wife wants John Heinz back.

  484. phillysmart says:

    This guy is and always was a disgrace to the country….how Massachusettes residents kept electing this priviliged jigilo who thinks he’s smarter than the 99% is still a puzzle…I guess money can buy elections

  485. louie says:

    Probably opened his mouth at the wronnnnng time.

  486. Uncle Bob says:

    John Boy deserves another Purple Heart. This one was self infected too like the grenade fragments he caught in his hinny. Of course, since it was a grenade he threw into a bag of rice just makes the whole thing funny.

  487. doodad says:

    I’m sure he put in for a Purple Heart for the injuries. 2 to go and they’ll send Johnny home so he can testify as to what really happens in the Senate chambers.

  488. Floyd Martin says:

    I Am a Hard Core Right Wing Conservative and God I wish Kerry had won!
    It would be worth the Price not to have ever had a Obama in the White House!
    At least Kerry would have had at least a Once of commons sense!
    Stop the Spending,

  489. Ian Fawn-Meade says:

    Nose job….surgery bruises!??

  490. Bippy Bellito New Jersey says:

    John Kerry got his butt (and his face) kicked. I wonder who she was?

  491. Floyd Martin says:

    Best I can tell it would take at Least 3 Hockey pucks and or at least 2 Hockey
    Sticks to cause that much facial damage!
    Ya know he must not be too good at Hockey either?

  492. Thought Recon says:

    A Grandpa hockey fight. Now that is some funny shyte.

  493. Troy says:

    Ron Paul gave him another beat down…

  494. John Barnett says:

    Just who is he trying to kid, his wife beat the crap out of him, he then applied for a Silver Star.

  495. eve jayne says:

    Its a shame. A real shame his neck wasnt broken instead.

  496. john l w says:

    Maybe another purple heart?

  497. Ron Burgandy says:

    He was proabably walking around Boston, not paying attention, and his nose accidentially ran into NYC.

  498. Dutch says:

    Why the long face?

  499. Lee Hazel says:

    Nuts, and here I thought some lucky voter caught him alone in a dark ally.

  500. MJT550 says:

    Has he put in for another purple heart yet?

  501. Daisy says:

    Ice hockey my foot! He’s had plastic surgery — again.

  502. Fast Watercraft says:

    He probably passed out comatose from listening to himself speak.

  503. Ellie Light says:

    He probably mentioned Teresa’s wide butt.

    Nope Teresa caught him looking a Moochie Obamas Wide Butt

    I still like the toilet seat comment above!!
    I wonder if he will ask for a purple heart for his injury???

  504. Peetah says:

    He got that because his nose was so far up Barry’s ass when barry made a sharp turn it broke Johns nose.

  505. Bluec says:

    Teresa pucked him up! Do you think afterwards she threw ketchup in his face and then made him look in the mirror?

    “This is how there going to find you if i catch you stealing money from my purse again!!!”

  506. slktuc says:

    When you follow to close to Obama’s rear and as usual makes a sudden stop , the changes directions, this is what happens.
    Kerry should have know that Obama is a hard ass.

  507. P. Logan says:

    Extra! Extra! “Kerry Awarded Purple Eye”

  508. P. Olszewski says:

    Extra! Extra! “Kerry Awarded Purple Eye”

  509. Bluec says:

    Hockey yeah right. What non pro non rabid hockey player is going to go in for a do over after getting a black eye and or a broken nose. And why is the bruise in the shape of a Gucci logo?

  510. Jack says:

    One black eye… A fight. Two black eyes…domestic squabble. Two black eyes and a broken nose… Priceless.

  511. johninlongmont says:

    but did teresa make the slap shot? ;-)

  512. Suzanne says:

    Did he ask Theresa for an open marriage?

  513. Jeanmchambers says:

    Bruises on his cheeks show this wasn’t a broken nose or nose surgery.

    The only surgery done here was with fists. “Fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee!”

  514. JDW says:

    Whoever delivered that forechecked deserves a beer!

  515. J B Trent says:

    He got run over by Tim Thomas

  516. Satch says:

    He does look better that way. It fits.

  517. viper says:

    Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving individual!

  518. David Baker says:

    So, Kerry finally shot off his patrician mouth to the wrong person.

  519. Al Gore says:

    Kerry dropped the gloves during a skirmish and got his ass kicked by a 75 year old.

  520. lou says:

    UGLY monster!! lol

  521. furdburfull says:

    did he request a 3rd purple heart medal? did he use his own name on the refering document Oh! that is right he is civilian and his massive injery doesn’t qualify, It is ok he would just toss it in a dumpster anyway, while running away from the backfiring car noise

  522. John smith says:

    John Kerry really must think that the public are complete morons. Ice Hockey??Really? Is that the best lie he could come up with to cover up what is obviously plastic surgery ? Funny how a ice hockey injury removes the Giant bags from under your eyes. Its incredible to me that telling the truth is such a foreign concept to these people, We truly need term limits to get the people like this out of office.

  523. Buck O'Fama says:

    Spose he’s going to apply for another purple heart. Fill this one out in french, go to Joisey where you hide your yacht then you can sail back and drop it off.

  524. BlownfuelCoupe says:

    Ugly seeks the bottom of the Bucket.

  525. BMF says:

    It looks like he’s been Swift Boated again.

  526. Melvin says:

    Hockey my hockey puck. Those bruises are from where Pan Face received new Botox injections.
    People with older skin bruise easily when stuck with a needle.

    1. maryanne says:

      I am still laughing over that one. Too funny. Also he sh ould just leave it alone, nothing will help that mug.

  527. Son of Bob says:

    I guess one of the vets that he slandered and lied about before congress finally caught up with him.

  528. israelideserteagle says:

    Hey! Anyone notice the bald spot. His $500 hair cuts can`t fix that!

  529. The Spartan says:

    Senator Munster plays hockey. Sure he does!

  530. majric says:

    He’ll be calling the Navy for another Purple Heart. My guess is he ran into a Vietnam vet who didn’t like being betrayed.

  531. Tim Lucas says:

    I think he looks good in black and blue.

  532. Crows Feet says:

    You got to know when to hold up, know when to fold up, know when to walk away, know when to run.

  533. Bob Lippert says:

    and still the dims/libs cannot tell the truth—-

  534. Jeronimo Dan says:

    Who ever this guy is that did this to poor old Kerry, I’ll buy him a steak.
    John can buy his own steak, to place over both eyes and his nose!

  535. Archy says:

    I’m betting it’s spousal abuse.

    1. bill says:

      it was his mozambique wife which she like to call herself who beat him.

  536. Archy says:

    We should be thankful for the politicians we have. In many countries people have to pay to go to the circus.

  537. RTC says:

    I’m calling BS on the hockey story too …. definitely cosmetic surgery. He’ll probably say he was playing hockey with “Manny Ortiz”.

  538. Chris says:

    He reminds me of Bruin Daniel Paille, who took a shot in the nose and turned ten shades of purple for a couple of weeks(see photo below).

  539. Shredit says:

    “Kerry played hockey throughout high school and college”…and he has the Purple Hearts to prove it!

  540. Booyah! says:

    Looks like he tried to take some of “me”chelle’s grub off her plate! He/she beat his a– down!

  541. Lou Zehr says:

    Yet another self-inflicted wound.

  542. Jullou says:

    I see that his nose looks smaller. How could this be when it is supposed to be broken. Obviously a face lift and nose reduction. LOL

  543. bill says:

    Couldn’t have happened to a better guy, as far as I am concerned he should have broke his neck.

  544. Radar Bill O'Reilly says:

    Did he apply for another Purple Heart?

  545. gary says:

    68 and playing hockey……..sure! He still doesn’t deserve a purple heart….the lying, cheatin, pervert. Maybe he and Jane Fonue got at it arguing about who betrayed the USA more.

  546. St. Augustine says:

    “First rule of fight club…”

  547. Bill_a_bob says:

    Swelling is due to a post cranialrectonomy.

  548. Ounce Oflogic says:

    First of all, 69 year old men don’t play hockey – ever. I don’t believe this story for a minute. Reason number one for my disbelief is that, if Kerry was stupid enough to be playing hockey, he would most certainly have had a camera crew documenting his macho-ness and there’s no footage so he either wasn’t playing or he fell flat on his face when he stepped onto the ice. But giving him the benefit of the doubt, if Kerry really was playing hockey (without filming it) then people need to seriously question his judgement on other matters as well… of course, I already did.

  549. rjm2238 says:

    I hope this is the new look for Democrat Senators. In fact I like so much I would love to see it on Democrat Congressmen/Congresswomen as well. A definite improvement.
    Rich in New Mexico.

  550. LLeone says:

    I don’t know who gave John Kerry those magnificent shiners–but I’d sure like to shake his or her hand.
    Of course, his ice hockey injury may be just a cover story….it’s much more likely Theresa Heinz kicked the ever loving crap outta the frenchified sissy.

  551. Joe says:

    Just think, ifhe went to work once in a while, he wouldn’t get hurt !

  552. Fred Allen Barton Sr says:

    Hockey, You bet?!

    I think that wife of his beat him in a fight!!

  553. MadCharles says:

    He looks like he got hit by a NVA Swift Boat while wind surfing..

  554. KorlaPundit says:

    You rang??????

  555. MadCharles says:

    They should have had that helmet give-a-way sooner.

  556. Juan says:

    Found a wall of five fingers, congrats to whoever did it!!!!!!

  557. Steve says:

    AT least these are real unlike the falsified ones he sustained in Viet Nam.

  558. tom says:

    I blame George Bush that his wife crazy Teresa beat him. Cant wait for the lets blame Bush for everything speech tonight…..

  559. JonInVa says:

    His wife must have caught him with a bottle of Hunt’s ketchup.

  560. Jim Goff says:

    Rain a little cool this morning but seeing that photo really made my day. I hope he has a chance to get this done often. This type of face improvement does not happen often enough. Good job who evere did it.

  561. tom says:

    I blame George Bush that his wife crazy Teresa beat him.

  562. fred says:

    BS ~ Those look like imprints of b hussein’s bag and stick on his face!!!

  563. Whosiwhatzit says:

    Got it playin hockey my rosy red arse. He’s had plastic surgery. Lurch is trying to fluff his crows feet. Next will be that gobbler neck. Of course, being a serial liar, he’ll have to continue getting the nose bobbed on a regular basis.

  564. Jason Talbott says:

    Mr. Kerry was lacing his skates
    In the midst of a game with his mates.
    Flip-flopping, he cried,
    “I shall leave them untied!”
    Then he tripped. Sir, your ambulance awaits.

  565. PD says:

    Secret societies make secrets, tell lies. That is no(se)t a job for people in government.
    Por Que, no se,
    Porky bill, no se.
    No Se, (“I don’t Know” )
    no secret, secret societies.

  566. true democrat says:

    it was his swift boat buddies, getting back at him for admitting to congress they are war criminal’s

  567. Strudwick Wickerwire says:

    Don’t believe the prevailing jive, Kerry had plastic surgery to soften his appearance so he can fill-in for Biden on the 2012 democrat ticket, he wants to be the next VP, the schmuck!!! Did ya know he’d been to the Nam?!

  568. mickey says:

    Well I’d like to box him in the ring and shoe him what a real broken nose is.

  569. BMF says:

    I think the haughty, French-looking, Kerry who served in Vietnam was Swift Boated again. At least the results appear to be the same.

  570. SandyEggan says:

    Wot! Mr. “Im so great!”

    Yaaaaay! ( a-hole )

  571. Dobie 101 says:

    HOORAY for kerry he’s a horses a _ _! f’n kerry was probaly bragg’in about his 3 purple hearts and somebody punced him in the snotlocker

  572. Don says:

    He still looks French…

  573. Mandy says:

    Hmmm ..wonder why there aren’t any other hockey players to corroborate this story. There aren’t because it probably never happened. Wonder why the media didn’t follow up on this story to get to the truth? Beause the media doesn’t care what other liberals do.

  574. ebneila says:

    Why is it so hard to believe Mr. Kerry’s injuries happened just as he said. It’s easy to make funny of and lie about people when you don’t like them. Or afraid their plight may actually cause you to respond with empathy — as an ADULT

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