TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: Football Tie Vs. Necktie As A Holiday Gift

As many of you saw, the San Francisco 49ers tied the St. Louis Rams this weekend, which was awful because ties are boring and stupid. After all that buildup, all we got was the blandest outcome imaginable. Kind of like getting a necktie as a holiday present. So what’s the bigger letdown, a tie, or a tie?

Football Tie
Necktie Holiday Gift
St Louis Rams v San Francisco 49ers
tie
HIGHLY ANTICIPATED BUILDUP?
Winner WOOOOO!
Winner OH YEAH!
IMMEDIATE REACTION AFTER SEING IT'S A TIE?
Winner ...aww
Winner ...oh
WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMETHING AWESOME?
Winner Potentially, if your team wins. Heck, even a loss would be a resolution.
Not after 20, but, like, give me a book or something!
ANGRY THOUGHT A FEW MINUTES LATER?
Winner "I got drunk for nothing!"
"I guess I'll wear this at work, which is a place I love going to all the time."
SLAPDASH ENCOURAGEMENT FROM OTHERS?
"Europeans love soccer, and they tie all the time!"
Winner "Europeans love ties! They wear them all the time!"
RELATED TO ALEX SMITH'S CONCUSSION?
Pfft. Yes.
Winner Wh-...no...?

We'll Just Call it a Tie

St Louis Rams v San Francisco 49ers tie

IT'S...oh. It's a tie.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

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    The Raiders have certainly shown some life in the second half of the season, and while it most likely won’t be enough to help Tony Sparano shed the interim label and become the full-time head coach, he does deserve credit for not letting this team give up.

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    Tale Of The Tape: St. Louis Rams At Seattle Seahawks

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