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Tale of the tape

Tale Of The Tape: College Station Vs. Cleveland

With Johnny Football leaving the hometown comfort of Texas A & M to join the Browns in the NFL we’re wondering which city is a better spot for Manziel to play in: College Station or Cleveland? Let’s take a look at the differences.

Sam Houston State v Texas A&M Miami Dolphins v Cleveland Browns

College Station

Cleveland

Average Temp 69 degrees Weather Conditions Average Temp 49 degrees
Thousands of nubile coeds called “Aggies” screaming Johnny’s name, making eyes at him and texting him their phone numbers. Fan Base Thousands of zaftig middle aged men called the “Dawg Pound” screaming Johnny’s name making foul hand gestures at him and texting him death threats after a loss.
Yell Leaders: a bunch of elected male nerds who try to motivate the fans with synchronized cheers. Support Team Cheerleaders: a bunch of scantily clad women who try to motivate the fans with sex appeal.
George Bush Presidential Library and Museum Extracurricular Activities Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and A Christmas Story House
Kyle Field: The House That Johnny Built? (pending) Stadium Name First Energy Stadium
Home of the 12th Man Nickname The Mistake On The Lake

The winner is

Sam Houston State v Texas A&M
College Station
4 out of 6

This one’s a no brainer. Despite the lack of cheerleaders (why TAMU, why?) it’s quite obvious Johnny Manziel belongs in South Texas. I mean he does have the nubile coeds after all. Heck, they may even name the stadium after him. It will be fun to watch, however, if Johnny Football can handle the frigid temps and mentality of the Midwest.

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