By Jon Keller

BOSTON (CBS) – If you’ve made the mistake of trying to drive through Allston, Kenmore Square, or Chestnut Hill over the past couple of days, you don’t need me to tell you – the students are back!

And as always, I want to be among the first to say to each and every new arrival – welcome to Boston! We are so glad to see you and your credit cards! You are going to have a great time here, if you follow a few simple rules.

First and foremost – do not drive your rental truck on Storrow or Memorial Drives. While doing so, thus creating a traffic-snarling accident, is a quick way to experience a display of some of our more colorful local language and gestures, you will also face a hefty fine which will not please mom and dad, who may come up with some colorful language of their own.

storrowdrive Keller @ Large: Welcome To Boston! Here Are The Rules

A truck stuck near the Liberty Hotel on Storrow Drive, August 26, 2013. (WBZ-TV)

Another rule to live by – our city is not your garbage can. Do not treat it that way.

keller Keller @ Large: Welcome To Boston! Here Are The Rules


You may not have found your new neighborhood to be spotless when you arrived, but adding to the clutter will earn you the quick disapproval of your new neighbors.

xmas1 Keller @ Large: Welcome To Boston! Here Are The Rules

The signs of move-out day in Boston. (Carl Stevens/WBZ NewsRadio 1030)

A third golden rule – this is a hard-working city, full of people who have to get up early to get ready for work. We understand that this may sometimes be at odds with your carefree undergraduate schedule, but here’s how it works – after 11 p.m., take your party indoors, close the windows, and turn the music down. Failure to comply will be problematic, I assure you.

move Keller @ Large: Welcome To Boston! Here Are The Rules


And one final admonition – if you are a Yankee fan, or a Canadiens fan, or a Lakers fan, or – oh, the horror – a Jets fan, don’t unpack your team hat or jersey. Save if for when you go home at Thanksgiving, or you may regret it.

Your feedback is welcome via email at, or use Twitter, @kelleratlarge.


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