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Hurley's Picks: Patriots' Defense Can Outscore Eagles' Offense, Plus An Ode To Kobe Bryant

BOSTON (CBS) --It's easy to criticize when you're not in the thick of the action. From afar, it's easy to someone else's faults and failures, to sit back and say, "Ha! That guy really sucks!"

But what do you do when you're that guy who really sucks? You just keep on going. You've got to.

That's why that Wayne Gretzky/Michael Scott quote sits atop this post, and that's why this week's picks column is dedicated to Kobe Bryant, the man who announced this week that he's playing in his final NBA season, and the man who has missed more shots than anybody else in the history of basketball.

Kobe Bryant has missed 13,952 shots from the field in his career. Nearly fourteen-thousand misses! That is so many misses -- 13,952 to be exact.

Despite those fourteen-thousand missed shots, every basketball writer (roughly 14,000 of them) in the country has spent the last few days writing about the sheer greatness of Kobe Bryant. You don't hear about the misses, or of the Lakers' 50-130 record over the past three seasons, or how he's arguably the most selfish superstar in NBA history. You only hear about the drive, the determination, the focus, the skill, the will to win, and the shots that he's made. That's brilliant.

Thankfully for me, my worst week of the season (4-12) coincided with Kobe's big announcement. So in honor of the great, almighty Kobe, I'm going to go back out there and just keep shooting. Hopefully some day, people write about how great I was.

(Hey, doing a terrible job and hoping nobody notices is a strategy that works for NFL referees, officials, executives and employees. I might as well try it out.)

Rapid Fire!

(Home team in CAPS; Thursday lines)

DETROIT (+3) over Green Bay
Is the football season over yet?

No?

Please?

BUFFALO (-3) over Houston
Because the Texans can't keep winning. They're the same Texans who started the year 2-5. Nothing has changed.

Ridiculous Quote From Last Week's Picks: So before any other NFL official botches another basic call, let's get into some Week 12 picks.

Note: I may have gotten almost all of my picks wrong, but at least I properly predicted this one. You have to give me that.

CHICAGO (-7) over San Francisco
The 49ers are 1-4 against the spread on the road. They're coming off a six-point loss to Arizona, which for the 49ers probably feels like a huge win. So they're due for a letdown.

CINCINNATI (-9.5) over Cleveland
I'd feel bad for the Browns over what happened Monday night, but at this point, shouldn't Browns fans just be hoping they get a really high draft pick for the organization to screw up?

Jacksonville (+2.5) over TENNESSEE
No respect for my Jags, what else is new?

Arizona (-5.5) over ST. LOUIS
Revenge.

Baltimore (+4) over MIAMI
The Dolphins are in an absolute free fall. I deserve some sort of medal of recognition for watching that Dolphins-Jets game last week. Or at least a free sub sandwich and/or ice cream treat. My email is available at the bottom of this post, Woody Johnson. I'd even accept one of your goofy looking dad hats. Do the right thing, Woody.

RQFLWP: "Even if you think the Jets manage to win this game over Miami, you can't expect it to be by anything but a score of 12-9."

Note: I was only off by 37 total points. Other than that, I was pretty close.

MINNESOTA (Pick 'em) over Seattle
The Seahawks finally have a decent win on their resume. Good for them.

NEW YORK GIANTS (+2) over New York Jets
The number of people outside the New York metropolitan area who care about this game: zero. (That is interest in the non-gambling or fantasy purposes sense, which I don't count, because that's not genuine interest. There are hotlines you all can call, you know.)

RQFLWP: "The Giants are going to win the Super Bowl"

Note: Retraction! Retraction!

TAMPA BAY (-2) over Atlanta
This goes against my actual brain, as I'm just kind of making this one under the hope that the Falcons (who always stink outdoors) continue their losing streak before playing outdoors the next two weeks as well. By the end of it, it'll be a seven-game losing streak.

I don't even dislike the Falcons. That's just funny. And I root for funny.

OAKLAND (+3) over Kansas City
Two teams that are 6-5 against the spread. A Chiefs team that's 3-3 straight up on the road. Decent home team getting a few points looks good to me.

SAN DIEGO (+4) over Denver
This is one of those picks that I regret immediately upon making. But I've seen the Brock Osweiler-led Broncos play two games, and I'm not convinced they can win in any way other than a hard-fought, tight game that comes down to the final minutes.

Oh man, do I already regret this pick though.

NEW ENGLAND (-10) over Philadelphia
The Patriots might only score 13 points on offense, but I think the Patriots' defense will actually outscore Philly's offense. Sam Bradford, Mark Sanchez, doesn't matter. I expect New England's defense to cover this spread on its own.

(Sam Bradford, if you return to the field, please wear smaller sleeves. You're embarrassing yourself out there.)

Sam Bradford
Sam "Sleeves" Bradford (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Carolina (-7) over NEW ORLEANS
I want to doubt the Panthers, because I fear long winning streaks lead to inevitable losses of focus, but they're in a special sort of zone right now. They went into Dallas and just dismantled the Cowboys in Arlington, and now they've had three extra days to prepare for a team that only managed to put up six points against Houston. AGAINST HOUSTON!

PITTSBURGH (+7) over Indianapolis
The Indianapolis Hasselbecks are kind of a fun story. But "fun" has a way of struggling when going on the road to Pittsburgh in prime time.

WASHINGTON (-4.5) over Dallas
Our most recent Monday Night Football games included the 3-7 Ravens vs. the 2-8 Browns, and the 3-8 Cowboys vs. the 5-6 (division-leading) Redskins. Gross.

Fear not, though, brave football fans, because next week we've got Giants-Dolphins (two teams that are 5-6 and 4-7, respectively) followed up by Lions-Saints, both of whom are 4-7 at the moment.

Yee. Haw. Baby.

Last week: 4-12
Season: IT'S NOT GOOD, GUYS. IT IS NOT GOOD

(OK fine, it's 78-95-3. But it's no big deal. If I go 16-0 this week, I'm right back to mediocre.)

Read more from Michael Hurley by clicking here. You can email him or find him on Twitter @michaelFhurley.

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