Scott Zolak Gets You Ready For Memorial Day Weekend
The following comes from Scott Zolak at the end of Friday's show.
We were having a little fun today because it's kind of the first Friday of summer. I know it's not officially summer, but the Friday before Memorial Day, and it's Beetle's first "Mail It In/Suck It, Felger" Friday. And I think you, as an American, deserve the right.
We come in on a freakin' Friday, all right? And think about this: what are you going to do tonight? I know what Jack's not going to do. He's not going to go in his packie. One of the great American rights is to go into your packie, and you open that cooler in the back and you walk in, and you have all of these cases of beer just sitting there, and it's got this distinct smell. It's a sour, frozen type smell that stings the nostrils.
And you have the right as an American to choose any type of beer you want to drink. And there's nothing like -- after the age of 21 -- when you as a man grab that first case of beer and you hoist it on that shoulder, and you walk out.
And after that, where are you going? You're going to Target, because you're going to buy charcoal. You're getting Kingsford; you're not getting the crap stuff. I'm getting the stuff where I want to put one light down, that thing's gonna light, and that steak is going to smell great, and it's going to taste great, because you as a man, you're marinating your meat.
And then maybe you want to go to a racetrack because you want to watch cars go around in a circle. Because that's what Americans do. That's why people like NASCAR. I'm gonna sit there and I'm gonna watch cars. All they have to do is turn left. All day long. We're not turning right. You're going left around the circle.
I'm gonna have a truck. And I got a Tahoe. It's a Chevy. Because it's made in America. I'm gonna gas that sucker up, because I get 12 miles per gallon. Because it doesn't bug me.
Because I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna play Wiffle Ball with my son. And he's not using the bomber bat. He's gonna use the yellow bat. Because that's what Wiffle Ball players do. And he's not going to hit the round Wiffle Ball; he's going to hit the official Wiffle Ball.
And if I go out, I don't have to use cologne. Because I'm going to use mosquito spray, because I think it smells good. Because it smells like summer to me.
And if Jimmy Stewart wants to be lazy and not do anything, this is the weekend he can do that. Because that's what you have the right, as an American, to do. And if he doesn't want to put Carlton in Norwell on today, because he doesn't want to ruin his Friday show, then he doesn't have to press the button and unleash the hounds. You can wear flip-flops this weekend!
But let's remember this, this weekend. Memorial Day is for one thing: to remember.
And all the fun that you have, and all the family cookouts, and all the enjoyable times that you're going to have with your family, don't forget the men and women that died for your country to allow you to have that right to choose. Because that's what we celebrate on Monday, Memorial Day -- the memory of all those soldiers that fought for us to have the right to do what we want in America.
That's all I got to say. And if you don't have goosebumps, that's your problem! Then you don't chew Big Red!
