BOSTON (CBS) – Next Sunday is Mother’s Day. A day set aside to celebrate our mothers and grandmothers!
I would like to spend this week talking about moms and the care we may have to someday provide for them.
This is also national Older Americans Month, designed to celebrate our older adults and their contributions to our communities and country. Anyone over 65 is considered an older American by our government and every day 8,000 Boomers are turning 65!
Seniors want to live active lives but there is a huge difference between a 65-year-old and a 85-year-old. So if your mom is 65 she does not consider herself old. If she is 75, she is probably slowing down and if she is 85, she just might consider herself old.
Individuals over 85 are the largest growing demographic in the United States. So if you have parents who are elderly they will probably need your help at some time.
So all that said how about spending some time with your mom helping her get her financial stuff in order. This would make a great Mother’s Day gift. Moms are notorious for not wanting you to buy them something. They would prefer you spending some time with them. So here’s your opportunity.
Do not think about starting this process on Mother’s Day though with everyone around. You want a quiet one-on-one conversation. At the most you and your siblings and mom. No in-laws! Start a dialogue about getting older. About what she thinks, what help she may need from her kids. Then proceed to the tough stuff.
Ask open-ended questions so she will talk about how she feels. I have put together some common concerns.
- Outliving her money; that is if she has money
- Estate Planning; does she have a will, a Power of Attorney & Health Care proxy
- Health issues, meds she is taking make. Does she have a list?
- Living alone; does she want to move closer to you, a sibling, into assisted living
- Driving; this is such a big issue
- Taking care of herself
- Nursing home care (this usually gets an immediate and loud response!)