BOSTON (CBS) – Wow, did you see the statement from NASA that they’re using fancy new telescopes to launch a new search for alien life in the universe, and are confident they’ll find some within the next 20 years, as long as we keep their funding coming?
This is big news, and if you expected me to dismissive of their optimism, you were wrong.
I have a fond feeling for alienology dating back to my radio talk show days, when dead phone lines could always be filled by the mere mention of UFOs. Besides, looking at the world today, who doesn’t hope that this isn’t the best the universe can do?
So I say we need to be ready to encounter alien life, and I’ve drafted a short welcome note that NASA is free to use with no fee or credit required:
Welcome, it’s a pleasure to meet you, if you come in peace. If you don’t, be warned, we have Will Smith ready to take you on if need be.
As we get to know each other better, don’t be alarmed by what you see in our popular culture. We just keep the Kardashians around for comic relief.
You may encounter some hostility from elements among us who don’t take to strangers, but for the most part you’ll find we are a friendly people. Just look at how we’ve embraced your emissary, LeBron James?
Don’t pay any attention to our political discourse, it’s just a bunch of hotheads blowing off steam, I’m sure you have the same back on Planet Zircon.
Most of us are reasonable, open-minded, and eager to embrace you as long as you keep the noise down when we’re napping.
So again, welcome, aliens!
Now behave, or we’ll send John Kerry over to negotiate with you.
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