Michael Felger: An Epic Celebration Of Montreal Canadiens’ Elimination From Playoffs
BOSTON (CBS) — Michael Felger admits that he’s a childish. He’s a self-proclaimed loser with a loser’s mentality. He says he’s not a very good person.
But man oh man is he excited that the Montreal Canadiens were eliminated from the playoffs.
Like … really excited.
Felger opened an agenda-free Friday show with an epic celebration/rant for the ages against the Montreal Canadiens.
“See ya later, Montreal! Goodbye! Buh-bye! Au revoir! See ya! Losers! Go back to your little rat hole, go back to your little weasel den, and go back and practice more of your diving and your embellishing and your whining and your crying! See ya later, see ya next October! Buh-bye! Au revoir!”
“Ole, ole ole ole, ole, oooole! See you later! Thank you, I can now enjoy the rest of my Stanley Cup Playoffs. You weasels. See you later.”
“Oh, you tried. You tried to ruin the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and they almost succeeded in ruining this entire thing. They turned every series they were in into a referendum on the referees, they turned every series they were in into a flop-fest, they dragged everyone into it, they dragged the Bruins into it, they dragged the Rangers into it, all this crap. Knocking the net off its moorings before the warmup, kicking coaches out of morning skates which no one ever does. The ‘crap’! Turning your series into NBA series, and there’s a reason we don’t like the NBA, because of people like you and teams like yours, so au revoir, go home, see ya later. Good job, excellent job, Montreal!”
“You still haven’t even been to the Finals — the Finals — since 1993. Twenty-one years and counting since you even went to the Stanley Cup Finals! You losers! Lose and go home! Do it again. Lose. And go home.”
“I have one goal in life, and this is a lofty goal and I don’t think I can do it. I don’t think I’m going to make it, but I’m going to try. I’m damn sure going to try. I’m 44 years old, I’m hoping realistically I want to get to 80, and if I can get to my mid-80s I think that’s realistic. So let’s just call it an even 40 years I have left on this planet. My goal is to never see the Montreal Canadiens win another Stanley Cup. I think it’s going to be hard to attain, because that’s a long time, and they really care a lot up there and typically if you’re in a place that cares, you figure it out eventually and you break through. So I don’t think I’m going to get it done, but that’s my goal. That. Is. My. Goal. To go the rest of my life and never see those weasels, those rats, win another championship. And then I would die a happy man. That would honestly actually make me happier on my death bed when I go into the next world or meet my maker or whatever happens to us, at that moment I will have just that one fraction extra satisfaction of saying I never saw those rats win another championship.”
“Oh, God, that feels good. It feels good I don’t have to watch you, I don’t have to listen to you, I don’t have to see you take every series and degenerate it into like a rotten Little League parent … all the crap that you guys do up there, go home. Lose and go home and figure out more crap that you’re going to do next year.”
“It’s been a wonderful Stanley Cup Playoff year. There have been a lot of great games, a lot of great matchups, but they ruin it. They ruin it for everyone. They turn every series into a sand-throwing fight in the sandbox with a bunch of 8-year-olds.”
Felger admitted that he’s a loser for celebrating someone else’s loss more than his own win, and he also admitted that the Canadiens are probably better than the Bruins right now, but that obviously didn’t put a damper on his day.
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