I thought it was a joke at first, but then I saw and heard the CEO of Starbucks confirming it on one of the network TV shows. Starbucks, producers of the most bitter and pretentious container of coffee in America, will be opening new stores, starting in Manhattan that will serve Starbucks Tea only. Yes this guy contends there is an untapped $80 billion dollar tea business out there waiting to be tapped and Starbucks is going after it. The stores will be called Teavana and please…..”hold me a place in line!!” I would rather have a root canal than drink any kind of tea, the least of which would be Starbucks Teavana’s I’m sure, but the point is, who’s going to frequent these stores? Answer…….a lot of people….mostly from Harvard and Central squares in Cambridge, (the Peoples Republic) a few people in Brookline, a few more in Hamilton & Wenham, quite a few in Northampton and perhaps scads of them in Provincetown.
Long time colleague John Keller, a much nicer guy than I, made note of the Teavana plans the other day and commented “I’m sure it will catch on, what with all those dim-bulb Yankee fans to peddle it to.” Yikes Jon! I would agree many Yankee fans are not the brightest bulbs in the chandelier for sure, but I doubt even they would grace the doorstep of a Teavana…by Starbucks. I don’t know, I just see Yankee fans as Dunkin fans…like most of us.
When if first heard about Teavana, I had to chuckle and say to myself, “who’s the dope here.” With millions of promotion dollars, plus the free stuff on social media such as this, of course they’ll sell Teavana for a while, It’s urban legend I know, but that’s how lemming-like the public really is. Or as I said in a blog a few weeks back, in NYC “try selling 5-lbs of poop in 3-lb bags and you will find a market.”