Carl Stevens’ Journal: I’m Tired Of Winter
WORCESTER (CBS) - They say that spring is around the corner.
It’d better come quick or I’ll need a coroner.
Listen: Carl reads his poem
I’ve got snow drifts filling up my head.
Too much of this stuff and I’ll be dead.
Stuck in the heart with an icy splinter.
Ladies and gentlemen, I’m tired of winter.
I can’t take more, not one iota.
I’ll fly my posterior to Sarasota.
Say ‘bye, bye’ to all the snow
As I lie beside the Gulf of Mexico.
But the fact is, I’m stuck right here.
With a car of life that I can hardly steer.
I’m weary and aged and fading away.
I love New England, but this price I pay
Is getting expensive, my body is broke.
I try to laugh but it ain’t no joke.
I’m battered and bruised, cankered and bonkered
My sad soul is meteorologically conquered.
What was once pretty and bright and clean
Has the effect of a snowball guillotine.
It’s killing me softly with the powdery stuff.
Hey Mother Nature – enough’s enough!
You’ve proved your point, you’ve got the power.
Isn’t it time for a warm spring shower?
Or maybe a slow and comfortable thaw?
You’re as relentless as an unkind mother-in-law.
Get your foot off the pedal, give us a break.
My head is soggy and my joints ache.
Why don’t you alter your sadistic plan
And drop all the snow in Sarah Palin-land.
Alaska’s where this stuff belongs.
Another foot right here? Well that’s just wrong!
Let’s stop right here and say ‘you win.’
And let the birth of spring begin.