When Red Sox fans woke up on Saturday morning to see that the team had completed its trade with the Dodgers to send Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez to L.A., it was like Christmas morning.
To start Monday’s show, Toucher & Rich got a little help from The Smashing Pumpkins to say farewell to everyone’s favorite right-hander.
“It’s the greatest thing ever. It’s the greatest thing ever. It’s the greatest news ever,” Rich said. “I don’t care, Adrian Gonzalez, you got rid of that money, fine. Carl Crawford, awesome. That’s fantastic. Obviously he’s been a disappointment, he’s been hurt a ton, you don’t pay that kind of money for the kind of results from him.
“But Josh Beckett! That fat, pie-faced, Deftones-singer-looking, chicken-eating, beer-swilling piece of trash is gone! And they paid for him! All of the money! Can you believe it?!”
In addition to his parting words for Josh, Rich also had some words for the Dodgers.
“You are so dumb! Oh my God, the Dodgers are the stupidest people in the world. You would think that their owner was Magic Johnson. Oh my goodness, Magic Johnson, you are the greatest human being. … I’m concerned about your brain. You are a dumbass. How in God’s name were you convinced to take Josh Beckett for all of his money? The Magic 8-ball says that you’re a moron and you’re going to be ruing the day you ever took on Josh Beckett’s contract.”