Tough Money Conversations: Telling Your Family You Don't Have The Money
BOSTON (CBS) - Money is a tough subject to talk about! We don't want people to know what we earn or how much we have. The only time we gladly flaunt money numbers is when we think we got a really good deal on something or we have made a killing in the stock market.
But there will be times when you will need to have a money conversation with your family. Could be the loss of a job, you have a lifestyle you can no longer afford because of credit card debt, a kid that just got into an Ivy League college and you can't afford the $200,000 price tag, or there is a medical crisis.
A diagnosis of a serious illness like cancer can be catastrophic to a family. There may not be enough sick time or disability insurance to help. Medical insurance may not cover all of the costs. If the working spouse is also the caregiver, that negatively impacts income.
So if your family's finances are going down the tube, call a family meeting. You need to be upfront with the kids. We want to protect our children from the harsh realities of life but that may not be possible.
As a family, you need to talk about the problems. Kids can sense that something is wrong. Their radar is always up.
Even a six-year-old can grasp the situation. You need to tell them that Mommy and Daddy can't afford to buy everything. Explain what you are doing to economize and this is a good opportunity to give them a money lesson on budgeting. How much income do you have and how much is being spent?
Everyone may have to make a sacrifice. The little ones are easy because their wants are small. The sticky issues often times are with the older kids; their wants and needs are bigger: computer, iPhone, a car, college education. And they are angry and don't know how to deal with the anger.
Sure, you could go into debt to give these things to your kids, but don't do it. It truly isn't prudent to give them everything because you are feeling guilty.
Kids know just what buttons to push. They like to tell us about all the things other parents are doing with their kids, such as trips to Disney World or ski trips to Colorado over February vacation.
Respond with "maybe we can do that when things get better". Don't take the bait and argue. It's a no-win situation. Ask them if they would like to start to save for whatever it is they want.
It's okay to say "no" to the kids. Saying "no" does not make you a bad parent, just ask the Super Nanny!
