BOSTON (CBS) – I hear rumors about some snow headed our way for Sunday night and Monday, and based on grim decades of experience I can tell you that when a storm hits around here, driving can become treacherous.

See, what happens is, the snow piles up faster than plows and trucks can remove it. This makes the road surface slippery. Complicated, I know, but true.

And every year on the eve of the first major storm, I find myself compelled to share some crucial information with those who inexplicably don’t already know it — how NOT to drive in the snow.

If you are out and about when the stuff starts to pile up, you will notice quite a few drivers operating under the Dodge ‘em theory of snow driving — the belief that you can avoid the risks of traveling in snow by trying to dodge as much of it as possible.

So instead of slowing down, they speed up, on the theory that the quicker they can get home and out of the storm, the better.

These are the same geniuses who try to get out of a rut by spinning their wheels as fast as they can, apparently on the premise that the snow and ice is a row of Mack trucks and they are Evel Knievel.

The flip side of the Dodge ‘em theory is the Slow Driving method, where the driver drops his speed to a crawl on the premise that snow and ice is less likely to affect a near-stationary vehicle.

This is especially unwelcome when we’re climbing a hill, which the slow driver wants to turn into Mt. Everest.

And a final snow-driving “no no” – the Mr. Magoo approach, where the driver doesn’t bother to clear his windshield and instead peers helplessly through a donut-sized space.

Next time you try that and hear the driver behind you engaging in horn rage, wave hello, will you?

Listen to Jon’s commentary

You can listen to Keller At Large on WBZ News Radio every weekday at 7:55 a.m. and 12:25 p.m. You can also watch Jon on WBZ-TV News.